Elio in the boots

life as a solitary

2006-10-27T19:37:00.000+08:00

seronok ka? <<---- someone asked me ...
takkan takdak boyfriend kot <<---- ayy,takkan tak percaya ... sapala nak muka camni
hey, ur quite an interesting person, i cant believe ur still single <<---- aku ketuk kepala kang ...
umoq dah tua, takdak calon lagi ka <<--- tua sgt ka being 26 ... muda lagik hapa ..

All these questions keep on bugging me for the past few days. Apsal ntah. Susah hati sgt ka kawan korang ni single lagi. Sapala nak pompuan sibuk mcm muka aku ni. Dahla comot 24jam, muka tak pernah terpalit make-up pun, berminyak lagi ada la.

Tell u the truth, after i broke up with my boyfriend, i tried to indulge in another relationship ... si muka tak malu ni meluahkan isi hati dia kart someone ... and in the end, kena reject ... malu nya, Tuhan saje yang tahu. Since then, i never put a hope in anyone, not even interested to indulge in another relationship. Why eh? Someone again asked me.... giving up oledi? Ntahla, rasa terlalu merendah diri ... i feel like i'm not born to be with anyone except my parents. Gila aarr ... ive lost interest towards guys? I dunno ...

I keep on voluntaring for alternate day night calls just to keep myself busy. My friend once told me to apply for leave. I did but just to end up in my dad's clinic, doing locum. I even plan to adopt a child. I even plan to buy a condo for myself, in fact, i did sign up for one. I plan for everything except getting married ....

Getting married is none of my business ...

Anyway, ive started new posting. The most relaxing one ... orthopaedic. Since i'm oh-so free, i plan to take belly dancing class ... bley slim wooo .... heh ...

Anyway ... selamat hari raya everyone. Maaf zahir batin ....

p/s: i got prob in updating my blog since i'm using a dial-up one at home .. susah sket nak update.

the day when im a gradie grad brat

2006-09-24T09:31:00.000+08:00

and the pitchas tell it all .....

when i got my first pay ... hohohoho!!!!

2006-09-16T12:27:00.000+08:00

i was well darn broke in the first 2 months when i start working until ..

there's one sweet day after my 'bebel' session with Mel regarding my pay, i went to check out how much money left in bank when ....hohoho!!!AT LAST, I CAN SLEEP WELL!!!! My first gaji which was paid 3 months straight makes me feel like im the richest one in the whole world .. erk,my own world ... ;p

3 months pay not really worth of my job, really ... biasak la ... keja gomen... pepandaila nak buat part time .. i did a part time job actually, huhu ... tanak bagitau lelebey, kang kantoi plak ...

For such pay, i bought my mum her fav white Clark sandal .. she deserved it since she has been walking here and there just to find rezeki for us, and now she deserved the most comfy shoes so that she can walk comfortly. For me dad, i plan to buy him the new Samsung slim handphone. Baru riki2 harga la ... prolly next month, ill buy him that handphone. For all i know, my dad really had bad taste in chosing handphone. Selalu gi beli hp pun sengsorang, tanak kasitau org, then terus kena 'kapak' aa ngan tauke kedai. Hp hampeh gilos, tapi mahal nak mampus, heh ... what i plan is i'm gonna 'curi' his current hp, i'll trade in that hp and buy a new one. When he first knew that i passed my exam, he bought me a Pocket PC. That makes me own a total of 2 hp currently, including my Sony Ericsson ... gila poyo! hehehehe!!! So, i think, i'm gonna pay him back ...

Last week, i changed my car audio to a latest Clarion MP3 player. For this one, it has been my dream for ages. Boleh tahan aa mahal, tapi pueh ati .. hehe ..

And yeah, not to forget, a shopping spree in Penang on last megasale ... ;p

I spent too much,am i?

But i never forget to at least save some money in ASB since i plan to buy my own house before i started to have any responsibility ... pepaham je la ...

My next plan will be ...
1) a nice spa
2) i need facial treatment since my face now looks like kawah gunung berapi ... full of jerawatz!
3) start M.A.C make up collection
4) buy new jeans
5) again, try to save money ...

How bout u guys???? How do u guys spend ur first pay?

p/s: i dunt have enough guts to write a long post since i've been working days and night for the past 15 days. I'm thankful enough cos i start losing weight without a need for dieting or binge-eating. penat sey ....

till then, adios migos!!!

the day when i get a year older

2006-08-29T19:53:00.000+08:00

August is reaching its end ..
To be exact, it has been more than a month since i updated my blog ..
Reason?
Hell alot ...

For a start, i had to admit that my lappie broke down due to severe infection from dunno-wut virus .. jadik mereng kejap la laptop aku .. i got no time to make ma own backup file for everything in my lappie, so i had it sent for re-boot at the nearest computer shop for rm70 service. Dunt care la, janji lappie aku sihat walafiat ... Two weeks of service deserve a satisfying result. I had every file backed-up and here it is now .. to serve it's master for blogging purpose .. hehehe!! ;p

I got a year older on 3rd of Aug. My dad got me a stethoscope for kiddos. Kecik jek steth tu. I can use it for my next Peadiatric posting. My mum plak, she bought me my fav Guy Laroche white wallet. Happy la .. janji ada dompet baru untuk hari raya .. hehehe (as if i got cuti for Raya .. berangan jek). To cut short, my family made a surprise party for me .. although i was tired on that day, not thinking of anything but sleep, i was happy that at least someone remembered my birthday. Someone asked me what is my wish for my birthday, i told them, i need a new boyfriend ... hahaha!!! i'm such a desperado ... ;p

There's a night when i had my on-call and had to take care of 30 sickos (erk, i mean, sick people). I met with someone with a really weird familiar name. Nama dia pelik sket, that's why i remember his name well. Dr Attiki, the guy whom my mum really wants me to marry with. My mum ni match-maker. Tapi pepaham je la. I believe in marriage based on love. And i know there's no spark between us. I dont have feelings for him at all. Kawan boley aa .. nak sampai kawin tu .. i don't think so..

I'm currently working in nephro ward... as for layman, it's ward for patient with kidney problem. i has been always busy since my first day of working in the ward. Besides, i'm not oh-so lucky cos i got a very lazy partner whom hardly appear for work, always on emergency leave (konon), everytime oso accident tapi tak mati pun (haha!jahat tul aku), and as a result, i have to settle all his work each time since we're doing our duty in the same ward together. Sehari dua boleh la cover, tapi hari2 nak kena cover dia, rasa cam kena bully la pulak .. nasib ..nasib.... plus, my boss is andartu .. pepaham je la ... moody 24 jam ... salah sket, kena sembur .. tak salah pun kena sembur jugak ..sabo je la ... heh ...

Anyway, it's a normal phenomena when housemen started losing their weight day by day due to their busy routine work. As for me, ive gained 4kgs!!!!!!!! gila aa ... i got big thigh now with enlarging non-muscular but full of fat arms. i started eating like a piggies and bloating like a mad cow ... my mum told me to eat more since i look thin but i dont think ill do that cos i hardly can wear my tight-fitting jeans anymore ... memalukan ... cheh ...

Apa pun, ill be graduating next month (at last!!!)... my boss gave my 4 days leave so that i can attend my graduation day. Ayy, best betoi ... it has been awhile since i met all my friends. Mel told me she lost 4kgs while i'm gaining 4kgs .. hehe! Benny said he also sudah kurus ... ayy... aku jugak yg dah gemuk ... tak boley jadik ni, musti kuruskan badan sebelum graduation... ;p

I'm outta here ... my body smells stink and i need a shower ...

i wanted to upload some pixies ... tapi photobucket buat hal la plak ...

Later then ...

im a dead zombie

2006-07-13T13:27:00.000+08:00

Ithas been almost a month since i started working in Alor Setar hospital. To be exact, they've put me in medical department for a start .. and i'm the only fresh houseman there. yang lain tu sumer dah terrer2 ... aku jek yg terkebil2 kart sana. I'm currently in charge in female's ward. Most of my collegue told me how lucky i am to start in medical team, instead pf surgical or obs n gynae's ..bla bla bla .. i just hope so. There's lotsa things to be learn. I tell you what, i have no experience at all dealing with emergency situation. I had my tagging sessions with specialists for only 7 days when i was asked to start on my first on-call at the busiest acute ward ever. Darn! My first experience seeing patient collapsed in front of me was a nightmare! I really don't know what to do and that time i realized how stupid i am for being so 'gelabah'. All i could do is doing the first ABC emergency management and then called my M.o's for a help. The patient died in my hand .. i regret it for the rest of my life. My collegue told me to take it easy since ill be experiencing few more deaths among patients after this and i'll get used to it. As my on-calls' progresses and so do i .. i shall say that i'm used to it. My friends called me 'malaikat maut' cos whenever i'm around, there'll be sudden death among my patients ... hey! i'm not that kind of angel, mmkay ... i wish i could be guardian angel instead of watching other people dying .. i know shouldnt have symphatize or have guilty feelings whenever i can't save my patients cos it's against professionalism but doctors are just human beings rite?

Anyway, after experiencing another asystole patients with almost 30mins of CPR non-stop yesterday,iapplied for leave for 4 days straight .. i need a break .. penat giloss aa ... on-call every alternate days, working 24hrs non-stop ... hish ...

And so, saya pergi ber'gumba-yaya' in Thailand, doing what i love most ... SHOPPING!!!!! ;p

i just got back from Haadyai actually, waiting for my PDA's to finish downloading medical stuffs cos it'll be very useful for me as a houseman. Huhu!

And now i know why certain housemans' including me are still single ... cos the only strong reason is .... BUSY! Giler aa .. kengkadang tu, nak gi kencing pun tak sempat ... apatah lagi nak makan ...

And i now know why many housemans missed their studying time alot ... and i shall say ... i miss my college time too ... and i miss all my friends alot!!!

I'm outta here since i can't think of anything to share with u guys here except sleep .. hehe! so, take care! i'll be back ... dunno when la ... but i'll still be .. cheerio!

i'm gonna start working next week ... bleerrgghh!!!

2006-06-12T15:48:00.000+08:00

I was waiting for my baggage in LCCT after my arrival from Bali when i received a call from my sis.She told me this ... "wei mangkuk, ang dapat kerja kart hospital yang ang tamau sangat keja". It was a slap on my face. "hospital aloq staq ka?", i asked her."Ha la, mana lagi ... padan muka ang..kua kua kua", she laughed hard at me. Cis ...

I can give you hundreds of reason why i really couldn't think of how am i going to work in Alor Setar hosp. First things first, i had my medical check up done there 2 days before i fly to Indon. I have to say that this hospital is the busiest one i've ever seen being compared to Penang or Melaka. Macam pasar malam, i tell you. No wonder la they sent me there even when i put Alor Setar as my 3rd choice. Secondly, ive been trained since Form 1 to start living independantly. And at the age of 26, i have no choice but to start living with my parents again. It's kinda awkward to me cos i started doing things on my own for years but now, ive have no choice but back to the root... adoi ...

Thirdly, my father is a well-known person in that hospital since he used to work there for 13years. Almost everyone in the hospital including the pengarah knows him. Once everyone got to know that i'm going to start working there, they told my dad they're going to 'bully' me.heh ... bully macam mana tu tataula .. hopefully, bully yang menguntungkan ... *ade ke bully berfaedah heh?* Between, if i ever done anything yang sangat memalukan, they'll start thinking of how stoooopid i am and u know la, as usual, comparison btw a father and his daughter will be the one they could ever talked about.

3 reasons are enough. Ive got lots more but if i ever want to list 'em down here. it'll take more than a day. I know i'm not going to get paid from 3 months from the 1st day i start working and i have no choice but to economically dependant on my parents for another 3 months. The worst thing i cud ever think of is that as a shopaholic, Alor Setar is the worst place to shop.. pergghh!!!

Anyway, i've jotted full notes about my journey from Solo to Yogjakarta (the earthquake area) and my last stop at Bali. I'll try my best to have those posted here including pictures ASAP since i couldn't do it for the time being. Ive been busy with my new gadget after PS2 plus preparations before i start working. What i wish for now is a new most comfy shoes that i could use to walk around wards. And yeah, new doctor's coats too. Yang lama tu dah kekuningan ... i can't let patients think how comot i am if they saw me with dirty coats. heh..

chiao for now ... i'm going to have a new haircut after this ... botak syndrome overwhelmed me eversince i had it blonde-coloured .. tu la, nak jadik omputih sgt, tamau rambut hitam .. dah botak ni, sape yg susah .. ;p

short post

2006-05-24T19:36:00.000+08:00

i shall say here im in a hurry ... huhuh!! mum's waiting for family dinner ;p

ayy ... susah tul la nak gi cc ...

i'm doing extremely o.k nowadays.hey, starting new journey is not that bad after all. i'm currently busy doing my mum's job, helping her in her shop and all as she's leaving a week earlier to jogja before i do and i have to take over her shop before my sister came back for a holiday. i'm doing a countdown here.hehe!!! it's gonna be ..let's say .. a week more before i fly to Indonesia!! yippie! lama sey tak gi jalan2. i told my mum i really wanna see a volcano .. an active one. she agreed and we've planned to do a few hours picnic few kilometres from the volcano area to watch Gunung Merapi. I wish i could own a nice digicam to capture the moment.

hey, fyi, i've already been like this .. menganggur and mem'bina' badan for 3 months already ... tsk,tsk .. takut gak tak dapat keja .. but what i heard from one of my friend, we're only going to start working in July. For me, there's a pro and contra here. i have extra times to be with my family. and the not-so-good thing is that i'm extremely short of money right now. Now i know how it feels like to be so jobless. Nak mintak duit from my mum mmg segan sket aa.. keje kart kedai dia mmg tak harap langsung pasal gaji. At least, i know this is the right time to help her whenever i could. bila lagi nak balas jasa mama,kan? ;)

For the past 3 months, i've been watching almost 20 Korean Dramas, 2 Spanish telenovela and i've finished 5 RPG games recommended by Mel and the PS2 dvd shop owner. hehehe!!! i've got two ugly eyebags and lotsa hairloss with white hairs on my head. I'm getting old, am I? My mum mmg bising la. She told me i'm supposed to let myself rest and pampered myself with sleep. I'm straining myself with those games and dramas instead. huhu!!

There's lotsa stuff to share with u guys tapi dah lupa la ... ;p

So, i guess, this will be it.

I'm gonna enjoy the backpacking trip next week. Shopping will be my priority there. heheh!!

To EL, selamat pengantin baru. Sorry for i couldn't be there. Kena jaga kedai la wak ..

p/s: i wish there's someone who could be my next movie partner. i'm dying to watch Da Vinci's Code and X-Men .... Reen, jom tgk wayang nak?

i love me

2006-05-08T12:24:00.000+08:00

heya ...

after almost, say, few weeks, i'm here again ... i have to admit i miss blogging world much!!

sorry for i havent been visiting few blogs that i used to click around whenever i'm bored. i've kept myself busy lately ... with my new lover ... ;p

nope ... he's not another man in my life ... it's my best buddy for stressful situation i had recently ... PLAYSTATION2 ...

trust me, if u guys ever feel stressful, feels like 'killing' someone, just switch on ur PS2 and start shooting somebody! hehehehe!!!

i started playing a game released few years back that i'm dying to play!it's Kingdom Hearts. For PS2 player,i bet they'll enjoy it as much as i do ... it's really fun, especially Disney characters. Since i was 5yrs old, i love Ariel so much.

i'm tired to tell about him to everybody.yerp, he was the one. but he's my past now. i'm starting to move on. the world once i thought has ended is actually a new beginning .to be exact, i've planned to experiment anything new that has appeared in my life. still, i havent talk to my dad for quite sometime. i dunno why. i know i shouldnt blame him since he's only trying to 'protect' me from a guy he thought was an 'idiot'. but ... hmmm ...

whether it's irony or not ... i've just had a broken heart while most of my friends have found love of their life .. to be exact ... most of them are getting married ..

owh yeah, i'm currently watching Trainspotting for say .... 10 times oledi! hehehe!! best la ... especially the quotes like below ... those suits me and my new principle .. ;)

"Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit- crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that?

Our only response was to keep on going and fuck everything. Pile misery upon misery, heap it up on a spoon and dissolve it with a drop of bile, then squirt it into a stinking purulent vein and do it all over again. Keep on going: getting up, going out, robbing, stealing, fucking people over, propelling ourselves with longing towards the day it would all go wrong. Because no matter how much you stash or how much you steal, you never have enough. No matter how often you go out and rob and fuck people over you always need to get up and do it all again. Sooner or later, this sort of thing was bound to happen."

btw, mum's bringing me along for her next trip to Bali. I'm trying to save some money since there's no income or allowance for me at all cos 'saya penganggur' ..heh .. MEW, i'm sorry for cancelling our plan to Bubu Long Beach. Klu ada masa next time, kite pegi ek!

As i said, i'm penganggur. And a penganggur like has no new event in her life except playstation ..

CHIAO!!!

p/s: bile lah aku nak start keje ni? biol plak rase dok rumah lame2 .....

i thought i'm doing good but i'm not

2006-04-17T20:21:00.000+08:00

My holiday doesn't mean a thing to me ...
I thought i'll be doing just fine but i'm not ...
I'm not heartbroken for the very first time ...
But i think this is the worse one ..

Last few weeks i went to KL, to meet Mel since i miss this friend of mine and her cat... and of course, to ease my feelings. I had quite a good time with her. I can't say i had real fun there since i'm in my heartbroken mood. But thanx to her, i din't cry at night like i used to when i'm at home.

I'm sorry if my previous posts makes you guys yawn to read my 'rintihan'. I'm not trying to gain anyone's sympathy. I just feel like this is the only way to express my feelings. Hope you guys understand ...

Yerp, ive tried my best not to call him almost everyday like i used to. I made it for only one week but then i realised i miss him terribly. Hearing him cry on the phone won't makes me feel even worse. I know we're both heartbroken .. but like i said before, we can't do anything .. let time explain ...

Yet, after one week, he called me, begging me to stay ... i dunno what to do except asking him to be patience .. and ill be patience too .. it's so hard, innit?

I came back from kl knowing that my second 'lover', which is my laptop has gone. It has been gone from it's place for two days and i finally got it back.I found out that all my pics with him that has been there in my lappie has gone. It seems that my parents trying to erase everything about me and him from myself. But i guess they're wrong since they can't erase me from my mind. I know i'm 'anak derhaka' since i haven't been talking to my dad for quite awhile .. until now ... i dunno, i'm speechless when i'm facing my dad and to be exact ... saya sangat merajuk dan berkecil hati dengan tindakan dia ...

My interview for postings went quite ok although i din't answer any questions at all.It's just a formality for the new doctors before they start working. The man who handle my interview asked me about where i plan to work. I said i want to be independant enough to be far from my family. I dunno, for rite now, i feel that they're overprotective and of course, i don't have any freedom at all... but then, they're still my parents .. perhaps they know what's best for me ... perhaps ...

Cik Reen, do you remember our meeting plan? on 23rd March? i'm so sorry i couldnt make it .. and yeah, this is the reason that i guess i don't have to explain again .. to tell you the truth, i don't have any mood at all and for now, my playstation has been keeping me busy in front of tv all day long ... heh ...

I guess i have nothing more to write here ... chiao!

moving on

2006-03-27T13:53:00.000+08:00

so, i'm here once again ..*although i hate cc that much but i have to*

and the other part of the story continues ...

i met Bomoh no 6 few weeks back. I dun want to but i was forced to meet her. She told me almost the same thing .. well, i dunno whether to believe her or not but what she has told me was like something that someone must have told her about me before.How come she knew everything?Is there any conspiracy between her and my family?Or someone must have told her everything even before i got there.I met her .. She told me that i was under blackmagic again. It was from someone who's known to have Javanese background and these Javanese has strong influence of blackmagic on me .. what she's trying to tell me was that i was under their cast .. cheh .. macam witch plak .. heh

With this Bomoh, she persuaded to have done something which is called 'Mandi Bunga'. I don't believe in 'Mandi Bunga' at all but i just followed whatever my parents wishes me to do.'Mandi Bunga' consisted of seven colours of roses, few limes and 'sabut kelapa'. It was some kinda refreshing feeling for me once i had 'Mandi Bunga' but still it doesn't mean anything. She had all my make-ups and put some kinda 'doa' on it. Reason? Well, she told me it is as 'penyeri' so that anyone who sees me will like me that much. Is it part of 'ubat pengasih' thingy? I dunno .. i'm confused as well ...

After all, i was sick for almost two weeks after i met the Bomoh. I dun blame her since it was just a coincidence. I can't even take food. I've lost few kgs to be exact.No, i'm not mogok .. and hey, dun't pity me cos i almost think that i've got bird flu .. heh ..

Everything went 'quite well' until yesterday morning ...

I woke with quite a happy feelings since i won a free session at Fitness First and i'm going to kl next midnite for that. My mum called me from downstairs and she told that she wanted to talk to me. I went to her,asking why and things went really really wrong for me after that. My parents had thought that i'm going to kl to see him and they asked me if i ever see him again, i dun have to put on any intention to ever come back home again. I was shocked since my only intention to go there is to put up on the prize i've won. I explained to my mum but i've failed to convince her. I was asked to choose between him and my family. I have no other choice but to make a one last call to him.

And so, we broke up.. in the most painful way and i certainly would have the memory of the worst decision i have ever made in my entire life. I heard him cry for the first time on phone. He never cried. Not even once in our entire almost-five-years of relationship but yesterday, i heard him cry. It was too painful for both of us. Both of us have to agree with this decision. He told me he had sembahyang hajat and isthikharah the night before and if this is the decision made for him by Allah, he would just agree.. well, i cried too since it's not that easy to put an end on a relationship .. we had our most beautiful memories ever in last 5 years ..

We both agreed with few things .. first of all, whatever i told here is not to get pity from anyone. It's just part of my experience that i would love to share for everyone to remember that in any relationship, there'll not always be a 'happily ever after' endings .. and i'm part of the victim ..

We both agree to lead our own life after this. We both willing to meet and accept other person into our life. We both gonna be good friends. He'll called me up if he has any difficulties that he needs to share with someone and i'll do the same. We both will try to love somebody else and see whether we could accept him/her as our life partner. We'll have spaces for ourselves and move on. I made him promise to further his study and pursue with his dream and he made me promise to let him know if i ever have a new guy in my life so that he could tell the guy to open the car door for me, open the door and let me out of any building first before him, pull the chair out and let me sit on it if we ever out for dinner, cook me dinner if i am too busy to do that and put on surprises on any of special occasion since i love surprises so much, call or at least sms me before i go to sleep ... i just can't imagine how much this guy had 'manjakan' me all these years. I used to tell my friend that if i ever to find another guy, it'll be hard for me to find a guy like him. Bunyi macam poyo je kan? But it's reality ...

To be exact, we ended our relationship in the most polite ways although until now i am still sad with what happened to both of us. Should i be regret with this decision?

Orang cakap, semua yang terjadi ada hikmah nya ... i just hope so ...

To YOU, for all the things that happened between us .. u have to know that u still have part of me with you ..

I'm gonna try my best to move on ...

p/s: life is like a drama .. don't you guys thinks so?

quick post ...

2006-03-18T13:54:00.000+08:00

i wanted to continue my post about bomoh .. there's lotsa things to share with you guys .. and there's lotsa things going on here ..

i'm hanging on real tight here .. thanx alot for all those advices ..

my home internet line is currently not available and i tell ya, i hate going to cc .. dunno why but i just hate it ..

and so,i'll be posting my next blog real soon ..

take care all!!

*hugs*

p/s: faez, u forgot to include ur email address .. working in Malaysia will be real fun as long as u still have interest on becoming a good doc .. take care dude! :)

of bomoh

2006-03-06T11:58:00.000+08:00

I guess i havta spend the entire holiday seeing bomoh .. why? i'll tell ya now ..

The truth is, i don't believe in Bomoh. Ive learned Science and for me, for everything that happens, there should be logical and rational explainations behind it.

My parents told me i'm not being rational all this while. Ive chosen a wrong guy to pour all my love with and they really don't like him. He's been accused to be a liar, 'pengikis my money', and he has been even accused to have cast a spell or black magic or whatever it is on me. I don't want believe to what they have said. My parents took back my credit card and threw all our pics together. I'm not lying here and the truth is, i don't feel sad at all. Why? I've prepared for all this. Two person whom are in different so-called status (i don't know why status is still matters on this modern age) has fallen in love and have been in a relationship for almost 5 years now. And what do you expect? Obviously, no parents will accept this relationship .. it's all about status ..

Black magic has brought me to Bomoh, unwillingly... i was forced to see at least 5 Bomoh since last few days .. to cure my 'disease'. The ironic is, a doctor whom supposed to know how to cure herself from a disease was forced to see person who know better than her in curing her disease.

I'm not sick ... physically and mentally ...

And so i am, for the last few days seeing all kinds of Bomoh. From the one who blow the bottle which contains a plain water just to see what causes me to become lovesickos to one whom uses 'jin' to threaten those who cast a spell on me ..

Let's see what those Bomoh commented on my disease ..

Bomoh 1:
Anak perempuan awak ni dah kena buatan orang. Dia guna gambar anak awak untuk memuja supaya anak awak suka kat dia. Dia pakai dua paku karat dari keranda orang mati, satu panjang (untuk diri dia sendiri) dan satu pendek (untuk anak awak) dan dia ikat dengan benang paku2 tersebut yang supaya anak awak dengan dia 'melekat', taknak berpisah and so on ...

Bomoh 2:
Eh, lelaki ni pakai jarum emas ni. Dua susuk. Satu pipi sebelah kiri, satu lagi sebelah kanan supaya anak awak suka dia. Pasal jodoh pulak, memang tak sesuai sangat sebab kalau kahwin pun, lelaki ni akan jadi 'raja' dan anak awak jadi 'hamba' dia. Akan berlaku penceraian satu hari nanti.

Bomoh 3:
Isk, anak awak ada si 'kenit' dalam badan dia. Si kenit ni selalu bersarang dalam otak dia supaya anak awak ingat dekat lelaki tu. Lelaki ni jugak memuja janin yg mati dalam perut. janin ni dia beli kat Perak, dia keringkan, dan dia puja janin tu guna gambar anak awak. Ni kes serius ni, kalau teruk, anak awak akan lari dari rumah bila2 masa je.

Bomoh 4:
Memang Elia dah kena sampuk. Dia pernah berkawan dengan lelaki yang memang suka dia satu ketika dulu. Sekarang lelaki ni dengki dengan hubungan Elia dengan lelaki baru. Jadi, dia sampuk Elia supaya Elia tak dapat kahwin atau apapun sampai Elia kembali kepada dia.

Bomoh 5:
Eh, takdak apa2 la .. apa salahnya kalau Elia nak berkawan dengan lelaki ni. Jodoh di tangan Tuhan.

I totally agreed with Bomoh no5.Betul cakap dia. Jodoh ditangan Tuhan. No matter how long ive been in relationship with my current boyfriend, we won't get married if there's no jodoh, aight?

I just hope my parents will realize one day that i'm still far away in my aim of getting married and have a family. For now, i just hope my holiday will be as nice as ever before i start my hectic job later. I do agree, ibu bapa mana yang tak sayang anak, ibu bapa mana yang taknak tengok anak dia bahagia ..

I'm going to another bomoh tonight. I wanted to protest but when i think back that this is not the right time to protest your parents, it makes me surrender and follow whatever they wanted me to do ...

I'm trying my best to not get depressed over this ...

All i could do now is PRAY TO GOD...THE MOST GREATEST AND THE MOST MERCIFUL ..

*to be continued*

catch my disease

2006-02-27T11:40:00.000+08:00

Hulla!! i'm back!!

I don't want to count how many months i have left this blog since my last post about my late Atuk ..

I'm back to square me after days of struggling with exams that had caught me headache most of my days ..

After all hard works .. i'm now a doctor .. heh .. ;p

I'm not saying that i'm the happiest person on earth cos i know my parents are alot happier than me. My exam results were a big relief for me and until now i can't imagine how will i be in the situation of a working environment. Life as a houseman doctor will be as hectic as ever, i tell ya ..

Owh heck, forget about that. I'm currently busy doing my movie and drama marathon that ive missed due to exam. I have registered myself to drummer's class for dummies, i'm going to buy a PS after this and play Kingdom Hearts, i have done with my shopping habits that made me currently 'sengkek' .. and so on .. to be exact, SAYA ADALAH SEORANG DOKTOR YANG SEDANG MENGANGGUR .. ;P

Someone has suggested me to go for holidays somewhere around Asia. I really wanted to but the thing is, i hate to do it alone. Not to say that i'm not independant, it's the fact that i'm a female homosapien whom are abit insecure walking alone in other people's place. Anything can happen, u see ..

My parents asked me what's my next step?

I told them .. i'm already 26 and i'm not going to be economically dependant on them anymore. I'm gonna work first .. work .. find money .. be dependant enough that i can survive on my own since i think my parents still treat my like a 17 year old kiddo.

My parents wanted me to go further my study, find myself a husband doctor and i told them i'm not interested on finding jodoh now .. heh ..

As for taking Master degree .. i would say that i'm more interested to become a cosmetic doctor .. heheheeh!! yes, COSMETIC DOCTOR .. NOT A PLASTIC SURGEON .. my aim as a cosmetic doctor is to make everyone feels beautiful .. hahaha!! POYO SIAL! ;p

Heh, banyak pulak plan aku ..

But for now, being with my family is the most important thing i wanted to do. When i was a student, it's really hard for me to even meet them eventhough i'm somewhere in Malaysia. I know i'm going to be a hell busier after this. Therefore, spending as much time with them is the best thing i could do for now.

For everyone who has been beside me for my good and bad times, from my first year until my graduation .. i thank Allah and thank you guys alot .. without u guys, i cannot be what i am now .. hugs and kisses ..

In Loving Memory of My Atuk

2006-01-20T08:25:00.000+08:00

Atuk was a great man .. instead, he became my inspiration of his great health .. truly speaking, i hardly see him getting ill. Not even a fever ..

The secret behind his 97 years of great health ... only warm water and ulam-ulaman ..

I can still remember when i was little, i used to hate him cos he hide my Barbie since he dint like the existance of the doll in his house. He said, "malaikat susah nak masuk rumah nanti, macam mana malaikat nak tengok tokwan sembahyang" .. i continued to hate him until i grew up as a teenager, i began to accept what he told me before.

The only that makes me proud of him is my atuk's generosity. He loves to shove his grandchildren with food .. food .. food .. food .. Until now, this granddaughter of him loves eating .. :p

I hate when nobody told me that he was very very ill last night .. everybody seem to keep their mouth shut because they dint want me to get very worried since my exam is around the corner. But, i dint blame them. Atuk passed away late last night after suffering from cardiac failure due to bronchiectasis .. I cried cos i dint have at least a chance to see him for the last time, to be with him before letting him go forever. I'm so frustrated ..i really am ... and i'm truly regret .. until now ...

This is the very last picture we took during Hari Raya .. it was on his request cos he said he might never be in this world again to wait until the next Hari Raya ..

Dearest Tokwan ...

WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH ..

AL-FATIHAH ...

of gigs, Brickfield's police station, goats and BLACK METAL

2006-01-06T13:02:00.000+08:00

It was a big shock in hardcore scene when almost 400 fans were detained by the police cos they're thought to be black metal followers ..

i was supposed to be in the scene during the incident .. but i wasnt .. i was in Kedah instead when i heard about the news ..

the truth is .. i'm against the arrest ..

cos for Godsake .. we're just music lovers .. we're not that damn Black Metal ..

and for the media .. there's no goats in Paul's Place ..

I happened to read the bulletin posted in myspace .. although there's lotsa harsh words in it, but i agree with his opinion regarding our music scene ..

salammaleykom
kepada semua
tujuan saya menulis buletin mulia nih adalah untuk......

memberitahu bahawa baik pegi gig dari pegi disko
kalau tujuan penguat kuasa buat serbuan di gig untuk cari ajaran sesat atauu dadah itu adalah bodo..........
sebab AYAH PIN YANG CUKUP TERANG2 SESAT ASAL LU OWANG TAK TANGKAP?
LU DAH TAU DISKO TUH BLEH SENANG DAPAT ARAK ATAU DADAH YANG JENIS HEBAT2 ASAL LU TAK PEGI SANA TANGKAP?
DISKO TUH TIAP2 MALAM BUKAK TAKDE PUN HARI2 AKU DENGA KENE SERBU??????
SETAKAT BEBUDAK PEGI GIG LU KATA BLACK METAL DAN MENYEMBELIH KAMBING UNTUK TUJUAN SEMBAH SETAN LU BUDUH LAH!!!!!!!
BAIK BUDAK2 TUH SEMBELIH KAMBING BUAT MAKAN RERAMAI UNTUK DIOWANG CAMPING ATAU SEDEKAH OWANG SUSAH!!!!!
BERAPA HARGA SEEKOR KAMBING????KAMBING MAHAL HARGA NYA BODO!!!!!NAK MASUK GIG PON KEKADANG DIOWANG TAKDER DUIT!!!
APA LAH BODO TAKDER AKAL DIOWANG NIH!!!!!
KEPADA WARTAWAN SIALL..........WARTAWAN NIH LAGI SATUH BODO.....
CERITA YANG TAKDE DIADA ADAKAN.......LU OWANG TENGOK LAH SENDIRI KEADAAN WARTAWAN YANG ADA....
MISKIN AKUH TENGOK ......BUKAN MISKIN HARTA TAPI MISKIN DALAMAN.......LU OWANG BELAJAR TINGGI2 TAPI JADI GAY.....JADI PONDAN........WARTAWAN
LU OWANG KATA MUZIK MALAYSIA KETINGGALAN!!!!TAPI LU TENGOK PADA DIRI LU OWANG SENDIRI.....INDON YANG KO MEGAH2 KAN......BILA BEBUDAK MAIN MUZIK LU TULIS BENDA YANG TAK ELOK....LU SEKAT MATA PENCARIAN DIOWANG!!!!!
BODOH BODOH!!!!
PIKIRKAN LAH KENAPA LU NAK AGUNG2 PETERPAN????TIGA EVENT YANG DIMILIKI OLEH TV3
ASAL LU TAK BUAT KONSERT UNTUK SEARCH KE RAMLI SARIP KE ATAU ARTIS2 YANG BAGUS DIMALAYSIA???KENAPA NAK BAWAK INDON?
CERMIN DIRI KOWANG LAH
APA KORANG SUMA......
KALAU NAK CERITA AGAMA ATAU KEHIDUPAN TAKYAH CERITA NGAN OWANG MACAM KITAOWANG......
WALAU PON KURANG ILMU TAPI KITAOWANG MASIH CUBA UNTUK MEMAJUKAN DIRI DALAM BIDANG AGAMA.......
KITA OWANG BUKAN IDUP ZAMAN BATU LAGI.......
APA CERITA NUFARAHIN JAMSARI PON KENE TANGKAP KHALWAT?????
KAN BAGUS BUDAK TUH SEKOLAH PASTUH KEJE NGAN TV3 LAGI!!!!
JANGAN SEKAT LAH OWANG NAK MAIN MUZIK!!!!!
KALAU DAH ITUH INI SALAH BAIK KITA OWANG MATI JEH!!!!
HUKUM AGAMA PON LU TAK IKUT APA MASALAH SEBENA KORANG NIH?
weh bodo PENAH KE KORANG TENGOK OWANG PAKAI SELUA KOYAK DAN RAMBUT PANJANG PECAH AMANAH KELUA TV???
PENAH KE TENGOK KAT BERITA OWANG PAKAI SELUA KOYAK NIH REMBAT DUIT RAKYAT?MANA ADA BEB!!!!!!BUDUH LAH LU OWANG

SALAM SAYANG DARI RAWK HADARI

For your info, all gigs in Malaysia has been cancelled for 6 months .. darn!

No wonder la music Msia tak maju ... sikit2 black metal ..

Phew!

i'm a holiday

2005-12-23T07:23:00.000+08:00

i love this song vewwy vewwy much ... the lyrics sounded abit 'ganas' but the song is so eargasmic that u wont get bored at all even when u keep repeating to listen to it ... to me, the song's my earcandy ...

It's A Hit

by Rilo Kiley
album: More Adventurous (2004)

Any chimp can play human for a day.
Use his opposable thumbs to iron his uniform
and run for office on election day
fancy himself a real decision maker
and deploy more troops than salt shakers.

But it's a jungle when war is made,
and you'll panic and throw your own shit at the enemy.
The camera pulls back to reveal your true identity.
Look, it's a sheep in wolf's clothing.
A smoking gun holding ape.

Any asshole can open up a museum.
Put all of the things he loves on display
so everyone could see them.
The house, a car, a thoughtful wife
ordinary moments in his ordinary life.

But if she breaks a smile, she'll give you away
'cause no one wants to pay to see your happiness.
No one wants to pay to see your day to day
and I'm not buying it either
but I'll try selling it anyway.

Any idiot can play Greek for a day
and join a sorority or write a tragedy
and articulating all that pain
and maybe you'll get paid.

But it's a sin when success complains,
and your writers block- it don't mean shit.
Just throw it against the wall and see what sticks.
Gotta write a hit.
I think this is it.
It's a hit.

And if it's not,
then it's a holiday for hanging
yeah it's a holiday for hanging
yeah it's a holiday for hanging
yeah it's a holiday for hanging
yeah shoo-bop-shoo-bop my baby

Any fool can play executioner for a day,
and say with fingers pointed in both directions
'he went thataway',
It's only a switch or syringe,
aww, exempt from eternal sins.
But you still wear a cross,
and you think you're gonna get in.

Ah, but the pardons never come from up-stairs.
They're always a moment too late,
but it's entertainment
keep the crowd on their toes,
it's justice, we're safe.
It's not a hit, it's a holiday
shoo-bop-shoo-bop my baby

It's a holiday for hanging, yeah
It's a holiday for hanging, yeah
It's a holiday for hanging, yeah
It's a holiday for hanging, yeah

I'm a holiday for hanging,
I'm a holiday for hanging,
I'm a holiday yeah
I'm a holiday for hanging,

It's a holiday for hanging, yeah

Yeah, i'm a holiday .. ;p

mewwy mewwy xmas ..

2005-12-22T12:14:00.000+08:00

i did it ... i did get through this feeling of mine in just less than a day ..
owh yeah, letting eveything flow away by crying does gives you a big relief .. im very sure of that. in fact, i get to smile all the way until now ... plus the exam is over!! weehheee!!

no .. no ... im not yet a doctor. it'll take me another 5 more weeks for the real super duper final exam before i could become one. i just this will end very sson enough cos ive been hoping to earn my own money cos when i had one, no one could ever say no to whatever things i want to buy anymore... aint that great?

but to earn a living, i must work really hard. i noticed that. no wonder some people could just be happy being forever student their entire life. i shall say i would finish the degree first, start working and go on with my plans before i could continue to study again. plans? that's a secret .. ;p

since today's our last short case exam, all of us plan to chill out before they could struggle for the next entire 5 weeks. everybody's happy, including me. forget about the next 5 weeks. all we could do now is happilly merrily celebrating the end of exam .. i plan to go back to kedah since my parents are busy helping my atuk moving all the furnitures due to massive flood there. i would love to see myself how this nature of disaster could ever be flowing to my beloved hometown. it has been awhile since the flood in kedah. my dad's clinic has been closed and me mum's shop too. hmm, preddy scary huh?

i want to go shopping .. really ... the fact that i'm in tight budget plus i havta save some money since my mum and i plan to go for tour in bali and yogjakarta prevent me from doing so.

okies ... im off now .. king kong the movie's waiting ... c ya!!

flood of tears ..

2005-12-21T10:15:00.000+08:00

i woke up this morning feeling so distressful. the short case exam will going on tomorrow and everyone's here starting preparing for it. while i'm here, feeling so down, thinking the world's going to be end anytime soon.

i just want to be independant and free my mind from him sometimes, especially this sorta event going around when me and him going to be apart. it's like losing somebody who'll always there giving me full support to study even harder. nope, i'm all alone. my parents are just too busy too call. till there's a day when they rushed to melaka as soon as they got a call that i've been admitted to hospital. Being so sick is the only time i had my full attention from them. But him, apart from being a care person when i'm sick, he's everything to me.. he's always there for his moral support. i can still remember there's a day when i did something really bad and i have just get punished by both my parents but he's there to back me up in the most polite way eventhough my family disgraces him after that. That's is why i think i rely on him too much sometimes.

well this morning, i received an sms ...

"dear lovely angel, i'm a 7 year old kid living way across south china sea and im a good boy. You see, i always behave myself and think about my adorable angel. i always sleep early, wake up early and never skip breakfast. I also eat vegetable and never let my food to waste. I never play trick to anybody during april fool. i never sneak into anybody's room to read out their diary. So, please my dear angel, do vouch me as a good kid to santa,k . And for goodboy-of-the-year christmas gift, i would like to have somebody as adorable as you for my personal gift. can aa??"

At first glimpse i tought it was from a charity until the last few words when i know it was from him. And i realized one thing now, i would want to think positive and be happy be for whatever he did cos whenever i feel down, ill think more about him and all i could do is just cry. It didnt come to any benefit at all ... yeah, i should be more positive ...

cos i'm his guardian angel ...

i'll guard him whenever he goes ...

exam ..

2005-12-21T02:06:00.000+08:00

heya ... im back after weeks of hectic end of semester exam ..
i'm not counting those days to come but it'll be like 5 more weeks to go and i have to struggle even more harder cos this is going to be the final decision of my future career ... yikess!!!!
i would always want to end this fast, i mean, studying and everything and be like other growing adults, earning moneys or perhaps, start building up own family although i know im quite behind of all those adult thingy. but yet,i'm definitely sure i'll miss my college time ...
my batch will be the first batch experiencing a so-called comprehensive exam where the student will be allocated cases which is known to be from any subject they've learned so far .. from medicine to paediatric. we had a mock exam done so that students wont be too 'gelabah' and mentally prepared when the real exam comes. I got a case of a pregnant lady who had diabetes on her pregnancy. it's known to be the easiest case when compared to other surgery, medicine or even paediatrics case. errm, i did quite o.k eventhough i'm not really satisfied with the answers ..

for example:
your patient, a pregnant lady who is a diabetes refuses to use insulin injection as part of treatment. she lives in rural area and it's very difficult for nurses to come help her with daily injection. what would advise her as a doctor since you know a pregnant lady cant consume oral hypoglycemic drug due to effect to her fetus ...

what aaaarrr????

i got confused ...

then, i answered ..

i have no choice but to teach her proper insulin injection technique...

then, the examiner asked again ...
what if she still refuses to do so???

i got blanked ...

Then, the bell rang and i was asked to leave before i could even answer .. darn la .. i'm no good in this kinda situational question, seriously ..

And for the OSCE, i was asked to perform a CPR and this question were like this ..
What is emergency's call number?
I answered, 994 ..

And the lecturer said, no .. it's 999 ..

And i was like .. "eh,bukan dah tukar number ke?"

And so, we had a 30seconds of mild argument when i had to agree that the number is still 999 .. until now,im still figuring out the exact emergency call num... what aa????

Anyway, this exam is going to end in just another two days... i had one more day gap before i had to go for short cases.i just want this to end soon enough .. mak tak tahan lagi nyah ... aaawwww!!!

After all, i received news from mi amor that he's going to be away for threee months, for some 'preparation course' and it's going to be somewhere in a rural area where there's no connection, even for phone calls. As a normal reaction,yes, i did cry .. i even cried for few days cos we're going to be far from each other with no call connections and so on ... but i know what he wants is for me to support him no matter what. somehow i know crying wont do any better. what i need is to be strong and independant enough eventhough we both know each other that when he come back after the course, i'll already be going back to kedah for good after i finished this medical course. It's going to be very hard meeting him after this.. with my parent's dissapproval, how far johor will be from kedah .. and so on .. sometimes, it's hard for me to think about this ... it'll just make me feel down...

There's happy and sad things going on ...
But i choose not to think of anything ...
Cos im scared of losing grip ...
Cos exam's coming ...
Everything has to be put aside ...
Except books, knowledge and spirit ...

Full stop...

Of love ..

2005-11-25T13:14:00.000+08:00

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

taken from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran

TO AWAK ...

THANX FOR MAKING ME BELIEVE IN IT ..
HAPPY 4TH ANNIVERSARY ..
WUV U PUPPY!

picture puuuurrrrrfect???

2005-11-16T17:00:00.000+08:00

I surfed through myspace just now and saw a new message from my mailbox.. it's written like this ...

Hii miss comot,
I did view your profile....such a open minded and great woman you're....I'm interested know you better and meet you. Wanna be my play mate??? Pls read my profile and view my photo's before knowing me....If interested, drop me mail...If you're not interested, don't mail me b'coz i'm just looking for a woman who are open minded and willing to try something new. Hope to meet you very soon.

A playmate??

I was confused.I dont really get what he's trying to say and so i went through his profile..

About me:
I'm a bla-bla, ** years old guy, staying at Ampang (Selangor), indian ** guy, i would also like to take this opportunity to tell u all that i'm a friendly person.. so don't be shy if u wanna be my fren... i'm very open minded.. so.. do be open minded too.. wads else should i add in here... I know how to satisfied my partner well b'coz it's not easy to make a woman fully satisfied...Some guys act like good/innocent but inside think/act bad. But not for me, I like to be myself... I have many girlfriends...Sometimes we make love for both enjoyment and sometimes i will pay for the loving art. *blur..* Mail me at (******@yahoo.com)

Who I'd like to meet:
A PeRSoN whO cRaZy & OpEn MiNdeD LiKe Me.. Guaranteed fun, excitement and stimulating conversations..hehe... Anyone Lickable... owh wait.. i mean likeable.. anyone.. don be shy.. i wont bite ;)

And i wanted to know more ... so i clicked on his picture and guess wut??

IT WAS FULL OF PENIS-ES!!!!!

Sometimes people can just be so desperate when it comes to sex ... *sigh*

of futsal ...

2005-11-15T17:32:00.000+08:00

my batch will be playing today for the futsal match against the junior batch. as for this year, i denied to be one of the player. to be frank, i dun really into futsal. i'm just a good spectator or one of those 'cheerleaders', tehehe .. my so-called part-time career started when i was studying in India and the team has not enough player to play futsal. i can remember when i was forced to go for training and they found out i was among good penalty goalie and the goalkeeper. i was then a 'bidan terjun' for the team. my first game was during fasting month and the game started in almost afternoon. i played as a goalkeeper and i assumed that it wasnt a very fair game since the referee's girlfriend is from the other team and it was kinna foul match. it was supposed to be a friendly match but it turned out to be a very emotional and gangster-fight game ... hahahah!!can u remember when we ponteng the puasa and ate 'expo' chicken right after the game, Mel? ;p

i regarded my second game as a forced one too. it all started when i was in my deep sleep right after my evening class due to nice cozy weather when Mel knocked on the door telling that we both have to be ready within 15 minutes and play futsal for the day. it was raining at that time and we were forced to play futsal by the same referee. i had enough of that jerk and with my 'mulut laser' ability, i had verbal fight with him .. huhuhu!! i regret for my action but most of my friends agreed that he deserves it. i had quite an unfortunate time cos i was then get kicked on my right leg and had an open wound which was then infected and left a bad scar that makes me feel very uncomfortable whenever i wear skirts.

and as for this year and currently in the busiest posting a medical student can get, i lost the desire to play that favourite game. enough to say that i have new commitment against indoor activites like anime, j-dorama, serial drama and netsurfing although i have only 2 hours to spend a day for that new commitment.. hehe .. as for futsal, i would love to play it again someday ..

by the way, trip to my bestest friend's house in JB was fun although im sorry to say that i really dont like JB that much. there's hypermarkets in every 5km along roads to Johor Jaya! is it part of attractions for the kiasu singaporeans or what? everything's hyper there .. hypermarkets, hyper-large roads, hyper-heavy traffic and hopefully not hyper-reacted johoreans .. ah, i dun really care much cos meeting her is much more exciting that the surroundings .. im still on my raya mood anyway .. :)

btw, of all those cute huggable soft toys, Mi Amor gave me this as part of our pre-anniversary gift .. even his niece ran away when he first showed it to them .. hehehe!! well, i think it's cute. so, i named it ZOA ANAK KENINGAU.. hahaha!! guys, meet ZOA, the aborigin (note his super-cool earrings).. ;p

a day with bleesings ...

2005-11-09T21:52:00.000+08:00

although my eldest sister and her husband weren't with us for the eid, the whole family still celebrated it with full of blessings. This is the first time of my joyous experience of Hari Raya eversince ive passed 21 years of age. we visited almost all of our relatives including me sister's future in-laws. the boyfriend's mum made us stay for lunch with the most waited yummy kampung style dishes.. those ulam and sambal belacan with terubuk bakar and daging salai made me burpp out loud .. tehehe!! this is part of my family's tradition to serve kampung dishes for lunch on Hari Raya .. and yeah, not to forget ketupat pulut and rendang too .. yum-yum ..

i'm still on Raya mood .. miss my best friend so much ... and i wish i can make it to JB this coming weekend so that we can have our last girl's talk before she became a wife .. hehehehe ... kenapa sume kawanku sudah kawinzzz???? buhsan nyer ...

by the way ... meet the whole Thibroni's family ...

the family

mr and mrs thibroni

the sisters

danial and emier

papa and moi

happy eid

2005-10-28T15:12:00.000+08:00

hulla ...

as mentioned from my previous post, i thought i won't be able to post anything on this blog till the end my my raya holiday. but i have lotsa free time instead. and yeah, with new layout made by lovely Mel, i'm currently 'bersemangat' in updating my blog. buahaha!! thanx alot buddy .. i owe you 'makan-makan' at nyonya's restaurant .. huhuu!!

i miss my hometown ... really ...

i just thought i can make myself fully independant by being away from my family but deep inside, i misses 'em alot. am i not independant enuff?

everyone is getting themselves rid from this 'black hole' .. the hostel's empty, feels like i'm in the middle of nowhere .. Saturday's class has been cancelled .. but heck, what am i still doing here?

gotta get away from ere soon enuff ...

Happy eid, everyone!!!

non-weekenders ..

2005-10-24T22:02:00.000+08:00

I was so fcuken bored over the last weekend; no date, no excitement.. but i did few things just to kill the time .. for the rest of medical student, they'll spent few hours of their weekend to study. As for me, the senior most and exam going student in another 3 months .. i'm just too lazy .. tehehehehe!! *my dad will kill me if he ever knew about my not-so-healthy activity* ;p

1. i sent my car for alignment and balancing .. i'm so comfy driving it now and for balik kampung this weekend

2. learn HTML for the whole saturday until i developed serious mental fatigue with blurring of vision but i'm proud to say that i'm HTML literate now .. buahaha!!

3. i applied my HTML knowledge to my MySpace and here's the result .. :)

4. i tried to indulge myself to anime and japanese movie marathon. well, i did slept in between .. ;p but i managed to wake up in the middle of the japs movie and got so emotionally attached to it until i cried out loud .. alone .. in the room .. i think my puasa for the day became 'makruh' because of my stupid PMS that makes me hypersensitive to everything that is so touchy ..

5. ive finished reading the latest volume of 'Dik Cerdas' manga .. hehehe!!

6. 'termenung' for few hours in front of my laptop, trying hard to choose best redemption item for bonuslink via internet catalogue .. i want that samsung mp3 player but i dont have enough point for that .. ceh ..

7. self-facial treatment .. mentang2 la dah nak raya .. hahahaha!!!!

my masked,static facies .. hodoh benar rupa ku

As a credit for my loneliness over the weekend, i received a prune cake specially made for me by Mel's Abah ... thanx uncle! awak sangat kewl .. ;p

I don't think i'll be able to update this blog until i came back from Hari Raya celebration. So, i just would like to wish u guys Salam Aidilfitri .. ingin kususun sepuluh jari memohon maaf kalau ada salah dan silap *chewah!* .. and yeah, jangan main mercun ye! hehehe!! toodles!

bloggers ..

2005-10-21T17:34:00.000+08:00

i got to know these people only when i started blogging .. they're totally strangers to me but their daily blurbs somehow has made me wanna be who i am and what i am now .. and i would love to meet them someday .. :)

reen - this girl used to rock my day whenever she updated her blog. although ive never meet her, i know she's a happy-go-lucky type .. i like her view about whatever or whomever she come across .. awak sangat kelakar la cik reen .. ;p

mysara - this girl rawks!she can do everything that she want without full limitations. i knew that she's having her PMS when she blurbs about anything that makes her wanna scream to top of her lungs .. hahah!! cik kak, never ever deny that ur already kurus .. huhuhu!!!!

aida - i love her beautiful writings especially when she described about 'him'

dD - we share common things .. love towards music and travelling .. i would love to hear her telling me stories bout her travelling days .. besides, i think that she's cute for real .. :)

phyruzze - mysara's hubba-hubba. he's a talented photographer. every single moment he captured has become among my favourite images to view whenever i feel bored .. i wonder, is he going be my photography sifu for 'free' if i meet him one day? fufufufu!

ezwan - this ex-MMU guy who's also from Melaka lives somewhere near my hostel. We used to chat virtually but we've never meet .. selalu kena cancel meeting plan ajer .. kan?kan?kan?

lyanialien - this old skool junior of mine whom i accidentally meet online. anehnya, mengapa kita bersua dari dulu lagi??? and yeah, would love to see her sarawakian 'matahari' too ..

im currently tempang

2005-10-17T09:03:00.000+08:00

it has been two days since a diagnosis of plantar fascitis has been made towards my beloved left foot. the name and the disease course is simple, i learned only few lines of it in my orthopaedic textbook, i don't even pay too much attention on it since the only treatment is rest and analgesics but the throbbing pain that i have to bear now is .. unbearable .. darn!i can now imagine how significant this soft tissue covering ligaments of my foot that it hurts so much when it gets inflammed.i cant even bear weight of my left foot. as tempang as i am, im having difficulties stepping on stairs too. and as a left-handed, i dependant too much on everything on my left .. and my right side does not play much important on me except my right hand for eating.

to be exact, i'm currently 'tempang' and i'm on leave ..

enuff said ..

morale of the story: learn to use both of your side .. that's why God granted us with both right and left hands and feet ..

puasa reminds me of ...

2005-10-07T12:57:00.000+08:00

1) My first attempt to puasa when i was 6 year old and i ended drinking water behind the opened fridge door when i heard Asar's azan and thought it was time to buka pose .. fufufufu ..

2) My first attempt to puasa and my dad promised to pay rm1 for each of my puasa day. I managed to puasa for the whole Ramadhan and it was such an achievement made compared to my other siblings .. hehe

3) One of my puasa days when ive already started playing fireworks on first day of Ramadhan and followed my cousin brother to play own-made meriam buluh. My dad was very angry that i didn't get any chance to have my favourite ayam percik during the berbuka time.

4) My first day of menarche (my first period) that happened to be during Ramadhan and i got all chances to taste the buka puasa dishes first before others do .. huhuhuh .. sungguh muka tak malu!

5) How much i miss to buka puasa in my own house cos i haven't did that for almost five years .. not even a single day chance of it .. darn ..

6) My favourite buka puasa meal .. nasi kerabu without budu, ayam percik, kuih tepung pelita and my all time favourite drink .. sugarcane!

7) How much i miss to have whole Ramadhan of solat terawih done. Last time when i was in form 5 during my old school years .. darn ..

8) Ayam bakar bombastic .. i don't know what's the meaning behind bombastic but the chicken is trully yummy!

9) Bubur lambuk Kampung Baru .. memang sedap ..

10) How much food stuffed in my stomach each time based on how much food i bought for berbuka ..

11) How much effort my aunt put to cook yummy food just to wake us up for sahur by the smell of those food ..

12) Jejak Rasul ..

13) Baking cakes and cookies for Hari Raya ..

HAve a fruitful Ramadhan! :)

refused?

2005-10-03T13:34:00.000+08:00

I'm tired of losing myself to some stupid childhood dream of what I could have been
Money proves the point..
I shoot off a 100 things to remain more sorry than safe
You see, I only get this chance once and I just can't let it be and I'm still certain that what motivates me is more rewarding than any piece of paper could be
Well adjusted and corrupted, all those icons that stole our teenage lust
A scenario of simplicity, a scenario of you and me
Rather be forgotten than remembered for giving in
We're all tired of dying - so sick of not trying
Scared that we might fail - we'll accomplish nothing
Not even failure

i hate lion

2005-09-27T12:13:00.000+08:00

I skipped lion's class again. and here i am, sitting alone, trying to gather wut lion has taught me so far and i found nothing. He made me sick otherwise. He made me changed my likes on surgery subject instead. I used to like it so much since it made me feel good learning it rather than that haywire medicine subject. I used to think that surgery is not for kiasus compared to medicine. Urgghh!! U know how he has made me feel so worthless.. feel stupid and sometimes, i do think ive lost my pride when he started yelling in front of patients. Even nurses are afraid of him. Wutelse can i say, i regarded him as lion instead of my own teacher cos he never teaches me anything rather than insults.

He called me stupid-idiotic-ass yesterday. He demotivated me and i don't find it challenging at all. He said i'm trying to be smart like distinction student but actually i'm just one of the bloody monkeys. I showed him my blunt face. I looked straight right up to ceilings and i knew he didnt like it when he shoved me away. I would love to just walk away like what i did last week, but i just can't because my pride is more important than anything. Why can't he think about his students' feelings? Why can't he be more sensible? Why can't he be a humble surgeon? Why must he proud of himself? He's nothing but just a professor whose a failure in his attitude..

How many patients want to see a doctor with such an attitude?

I hate that lion ..

Go roar in the jungle, you old lion ..
Don't make me burst in flame ..
I'm tired of you ..

*sigh*

giggling gig ..

2005-09-26T00:09:00.000+08:00

I followed Mi Amor to watch his friends performed at Speedrawk gig in Masjid Tanah .. Of all places, why larr Masjid Tanah oii??

The crowd .. pergghhh .. i hate to say this but they're just some heavenly junkies and punk wanna-be who dunno wut music is all about and made their perception that underground music is nothing but beers. Mabuk tak kena tempat. Wut a bunch of idiots ...

Owh, there's this band (who claimed themselves as rock kapak) has made me feel like 'ketawa guling-guling' when the vocalist actually sang "I'm not O.K" by My Chemical Romance and he has successfully made me feel very un-o.k with it ..

Forget about the crowd and the newbies band, ive actually been introduced to Crestfallen for the first time. Ive heard about 'em being so good and yerp,they actually are .. Crestfallen rawks! and that's wut i call music ..

taggie tag

mamat mana ntah

setting up

Crestfallen

photo taken from jepun

They rawk!

Where words fail, music speaks.

Wanna know 'em? view here

bohoho ... men can have PMS too!!

2005-09-21T21:28:00.000+08:00

Men May Have Reason To Be Grumpy
Exact Cause Of Syndrome Still Unknown

CLEVELAND -- Are you a man who is feeling irritable, depressed and bloated? Well, those are symptoms related to a condition called "irritable male syndrome," which may affect millions of men.

But there are available treatments that may help.

Connie Hillegass said she hit a snag in her marriage a few years ago because something was different about her husband, Michael.

"It's like a switch was turned off. There was no lust -- no desire," Michael Hillegass said.

Scott Simmons, an IMS patient, noticed changes when he hit middle age, too.

"(I felt) tired, lethargic, and (I) didn't have a zest for work anymore. (I) started gaining weight," Simmons said.

Both men sought medical help, and the diagnosis was IMS, according to urologist Christopher Steidle.

"Irritable male syndrome is incredibly common in up to 30 percent of men. This is a male version of PMS, or premenstrual syndrome," Steidle said.

When a man's testosterone level dips, it can result in depression, weight gain, a loss of energy, and a disappearing sex drive in men as young as their 30s, according to Steidle.

"Many of the symptoms are indistinguishable from old age, and for years you've always thought of it as a 'grumpy old man.' Now we know (what) the grumpy old man probably has," he said.

Steidle said the impact of IMS on the family is incredible. When the affection disappears, depression sets in, and it can be confusing for the woman behind the man. Connie Hillegass blamed herself.

"Is he interested in someone else? What's going on? There's got to be a reason," she said.

While the effect on men is clear, the cause is not. Does a man's diet play a role?

"The role of diet in triggering this syndrome is probably very minimal," Steidle said.

However, urologist Larrian Gillespie disagrees. She believes two things trigger IMS -- stress and diet.

"Under the circumstances of stress and then particular dietary changes, men exhibit these symptoms of irritable male syndrome, much like women do with PMS," Gillespie said.

Men can fight back by eating right, according to Gillespie, and in her book, "The Gladiator Diet," she reflects on what "he-men of old" used to eat before battle.

"People can't get a chariot through a drive-in, so there wasn't fast food," Gillespie said.

Fats and carbohydrates block the body's ability to use testosterone proteins, and eating unprocessed foods can help. Gillespie suggested a diet of approximately 300 to 500 calories about five times a day will keep testosterone and insulin levels smooth.

After following this advice, Simmons said, "My belly went away."

But Michael Hillegass said, "I'm more interested in just getting out and doing things."

Connie Hillegass also noticed the changes in her husband and she said, "It's like wow, yes, this is a different guy. (You) know, (he has) a whole different personality."

According to Gillespie, IMS has been linked with osteoporosis, or weakened bones, in men.

If you think you might suffer from IMS, stay away from foods like black licorice and breath mints. Gillespie said they contain a chemical that can dramatically reduce testosterone levels.

WHO'S MOODIEST NOW .. MEN OR WOMEN?? ;P

busy bees

2005-09-20T16:23:00.000+08:00

We, the busy bees are just as busy as ever ..
and thus, we had our own self-reward last nite ..
plus gossiping session .. hehehe!!
i miss those days where we used to gather in my house just to play mahjongs ..
but now, we dunt even have time for ourselves except for this ..

STEAMBOAT AND CHARCOAL GRILL DINNER AT SIBARAKU .. HURRRAAAH!!!

the three musketeers eagerly waiting for the food to be served.i love makan-makan with these guys. they just luuuurrrvee eating so much.memang kaki melantak. guys can eat like piggies.hehe!!

the uncooked ones. i dint know that u can grill onions and garlic too.weirdos japanese!

melantak session ..

we called this guy BUNTAL ..the name describes him well ;p

syeeda, me and yippie

How i wish Mi amor was there .. and that will make the other kaki melantak in da house ..
Cepat la balik sini. Gue rindu bangat sama kamu ..

surgery oh surgery

2005-09-14T20:27:00.000+08:00

This is what happened when a medical student is desperately in need of a break.

MSN MSGR:
oosaki nana says: puan,that guy in the icu just died
Miss Comot says:ye ke?
Miss Comot says:urmm ...
Miss Comot says:ada cuti dak?
oosaki nana says:hahahahha!!!! itu yg u tanya dulu!!
oosaki nana says:if got cuti i will balik esok dgn yip
oosaki nana says:ponteng friday
Miss Comot says:ayyo .. i really malas nak pi posting ..
Miss Comot says:dengaq org tua tu membebel ..
Miss Comot says:org mau cuti ..
oosaki nana says:heheh. just hope got cuti la
Miss Comot says:bohohoho ... yerp ..
Miss Comot says:bley pi dating .. muahahah!!
oosaki nana says:keji
oosaki nana says:hahahaha

I NEED A BREAK SO THAT I HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO ENJOY KERANG BAKAR
AND I NEED A GOOD SLEEP!!!
I HATE SURGERY POSTING!!!!!!
PERGGHH!!!

when the lion roars ..

2005-09-13T22:51:00.000+08:00

I am currently in 3rd day of surgery posting.My first day of the posting went 'really well'.huhuhu!!it was bad, totally bad actually.. especially when we have to meet the lion of the year.. yeah, he deserves the title.haha!!he's even more fierce than the real lion,i tell you.He roars, he screams, he yells and he can even chases anyone out, making us feel so disgrace and embarrassed in front of the patients. Yeah, he's the one.The one and only 'beloved' lecturer. Scary siot orang tua ni..

Yeah,about my first day of Surgery posting.I was his first victim in that early Monday morning. He asked me one question and i was so nervous that ive answered something which is not so stupid but he got pissed off,started screaming, claimed that i'm not fit to be a doctor and has came out with new nickname for me which is 'the dumbest to the core'. Yes, i'm the dumbest.HAHA!!

Eversince that day, i got so nervous. i developed palpitation every single minute of my life plus the nightmares!! So, you guys can see now how much this guy has affect my life. I went to Tesco, trying to find toilettries that can cool me down each time i got back from hospital.. i found Head and Shoulder Menthol shampoo as for the cooling effect and dandruff prevention caused by stress, the axe oil for the headache and anti acne cream .. i know i'll have acne and dandruff for sure .. heheh!! ;p

And tomorrow, we'll have summary rounds session with him. This summary round is where the student have to present a case summary of patient from his/her allocated bed. This lecturer of mine is very particular about English grammar and vocabs and all of us have prepared to be 'mentally tortured' by him. He'll find fault in us, that's for sure.. i'm busy preparing for my case summary for tomorrow with hope that he might not choose me to be his victim again. I mean, as for tomorrow. I can't bare this mental torture anymore ..

I miss one of this footprint owner..
Can't hardly wait for this Saturday's gig in Seremban .. nak ikut?? jom!!

twas the day ..

2005-09-06T23:29:00.000+08:00

Twas the day when we had a day break as a part of our condolences to our dear junior whom passed away due to accident which happened rite opposite our college. He was the only child in the family and you guys can just imagine how it tragically affects the parents. few speculations flooded in everybody's mind as they wonder how the accident happened. Some said he was drunk, the other said the car he drove tried to avoid a bus and crushes at side of the road .. the truth is, nobody knows even when the post-mortem report was out. i dun really care much about how the accident happened as this tragedy really has deep impact on me eventhough i dint know him well.

I started to wonder how if this happen to me, how my parents will react to the loss, what if i dint manage to see my parents and tell them how much i love them and ask for forgiveness for everything ive done all this while, whether good or bad. What if i dint get the chance to tell them that i'll always want and try hard to be a good daughter and make them proud of me. i keep on questioning myself until i called mi amor and tell him how much i miss my family whom i havent seen for more than 4 months. He suggested me to go back to Kedah instead. I cancelled my plan to follow him to a gig in KL and bought tix to Alor Setar .. phew!

That Monday morning, everyone gathered in the main hall when college organized a ceremony to express condolonces of the junior's death. I woke up late that day, trying hard to make myself back in reality as i had nightmares the night before, grabbed only my dark green tees and couldroy pants and headed straight to the hall. To be honest, this is my third time attending such a ceremony. The first one was for my late grandmother; second time was when i was in India when one of our friends died of drowning and thus, this is the third one and i realized i dun have that much experiences on attending such an event. I never realized wearing green will be such a significant on certain people for me to be the centre of attention for those who attended the ceremony. I dint realized it until Nisha told me few of my collegues said, "what is elia trying to prove by wearing green?" I know black is the chosen colour for such an event but what is wrong when someone wears green? Then i replied to her, "Err,i think green represents the colour in which life must go on" ;) Well, i dunno .. maybe someone can tell me why black represents colour for mourning ..

OK, tukor topic lain ..

Recently i develop a habit of surfing the net without any purpose for more than 6 hours non-stop a day. U see, i think it's unhealthy, so unhealthy for the exam-going final year student like me. After 6 hours of surfing, i get dizzy, lethargic, backache and intended to go to sleep without care much about my books which are nicely placed on the rack. Again, how unhealthy i am. So, i did my self-behavioral therapy by passing my laptop to mi amor and i found it much effective as i got nothing to do in the room beside started writing back my left-out notes and doing some study. Yak!yak! I'll keep on doing this until i can really control myself. So, i don't think ill be blogging everyday starting from this week onwards ..

Owh yeah, bout the weekend. I spent it in Melaka; no plan, no nothing .. Mi amor came to pick me up early in the morning to see the sunrise from Pantai Puteri and silly me cos i dint bring my digicam to capture the beautiful moment. We later spent few more hours, happily watching a makcik doing fishing as part of her hobby. To my surprise, she spent most of her time near the beach just to quench her thirst on fishing. Bohoho! Mengalahkan lelaki jek makcik ni.. we chatted and she talked more on tips of getting bigger fish and she inspired me to go fishing too. Since Mi Amor will be going back to BP this weekend, i asked him to bring along his fishing equipment cos the makcik has 'cabar' me on fishing gala another 2 weeks time. Cant hardly wait for that. Weheee!!!

We later headed straight to Mahkota Parade, the only shopping mall in Melaka for us to hang around. There's lotsa 'rempitos' there .. i loathe 'em much cos i always see 'em as those who never appreciate what a precious life is by rempit-ing. Tidak ku sangka begitu ramai 'rempitos' di Melaka. More than ones i've seen in KL. and yeah, almost every music shop in MP keep on playing the AF videos on all Mawi's show. Can someone tells me how significant this mamat is to the society cos i can never imagine bout it since i hardly watch Mawi's performance in TV. To tell the truth, his appearance has kinda irritates me .. not that i have develop jealousy towards him, but it's like .. 'takde orang lain ke yang nak nyanyi?' .. pergh!

What else should i say here?

I'm done with my daily report .. buahahah!!

pictures that worth a million words ..

2005-09-01T21:08:00.000+08:00

it was just another beautiful merdeka day ..
we cancelled our plan to catch 'bamboo lala' in the early morning because the weather wasnt that promising for outdoor activity ..
we went to Mahkota Parade instead ..

8.20 a.m : got some of the notes done (as part of my wish for merdeka day)

12.47 a.m : my 2nd baby under service (err.. org tua-tua ckp tak elok amik gambo keta, kang accident .. betul ke ek?)

3.17 p.m : we had lunch at Shibaraku while waiting for the car getting polished

i had salmon omurice

he had salted grilled salmon

the ceiling

me!!

us!

5.15 p.m : he insisted on buying me this .. weheeee!!!! ;p

9.00 p.m : i lost my sense of 'jimat-ness' and bought v3. i dunt care much about what ppl commented about the phone cos im not the multifunctional hp user ..

End of the day ...*wink*

MERDEKA !!

2005-08-31T01:59:00.000+08:00

I woke up late today, been having deep good sleep as my stomach became bloated due to excessive seafood consumption late last nite .. Mi amor has been treating my stomach with good foods lately .. hehehe .. from sashimi at Moritomo to seafood gala in Umbai .. thanx baby! He said i deserved those yummy-yummy thingy since he claimed that ive been working hard for my study (as if) .. ;p

Since i was late to class, i ended up 'mandi kerbau' in which i never did even once in my life. And this is the first time .. hehe! My mistake, i forgot to set up alarm clock in the first place .. Thank God the lecturer was not punctual enough as most of my kiasu groupmates did. We were given a case of a child with conduct disorder. Only God knows how naughty this child is. If i were one of his sis, or even his mother, he'll definitely get my bitch-slapped. Haha!! I love children but not the one who's so fcukin irritable that no one can ever describe how 'nakal' he is. We discussed the case and concluded that there's no any definite treatment except good parenting.Raising kids today is arguably harder than ever before, righty?

Again, i had quite late dinner with Mel. Okay, it's not that really late but we usually had dinner before 8p.m. She mentioned about the origin of the term "MERDEKA". All this while I dint exactly know who came up with the term and assumed that it was Allahyarham Tunku Abdul Rahman until she told me that it's actually suggested by someone whom i never heard before. It's surprising actually for me as not having too much knowledge about how Malaysia achieved it's independance day. I don't even know the true meaning of what Merdeka is all about. It's a shame ..

But for me, Merdeka is more than just waving flags cheerfully on the last day of August. Independence not only means being politically independent from our old colonial masters, but also about the people enjoying complete freedom from tyranny and authoritarian regimes. It means that the masses should be able to enjoy the wealth of the country and be proud to belong to this country.

But for years, we have been misled by certain quarters into degrading the meaning of Merdeka into mere superficialities. The notion of Merdeka has been associated with flags, patriotic songs and parades and yeah, Merdeka eve is also for those 'rempitans' to rempit .. silly mat rempits!!

Anyhow, happy birthday Malaysia ..

Any plan for a short holiday?

Me and Mi amor will be going to catch 'bamboo-lala' at Pantai Puteri .. syioknye!!! ;p

woopsie

2005-08-29T01:03:00.000+08:00

aku sudah empat minggu meninggalkan dunia buku pelajaran ku melainkan buku cerita semata-mata .. aku juga telah berpoya-poya dengan hebat sekali sehingga kulupa masa berjalan dengan begitu cepat termasuklah wang ku yang semakin hari semakin surut seperti air sungai di kala kemarau .... terasa sia sia hidupku sepanjang empat minggu lepas ... owh tiiiiidaaaakkkkkkk!!!!!!!!

aku musti berpuasa ..
aku musti servis dan kilatkan kereta ku yang comot itu ..
aku musti kemas bilik ..
aku musti menghabiskan nota-nota ku ..
aku musti mengulangkaji surgeri sebelum berjumpa dengan si pensyarah yang juga sepupuku itu .. aku tidak mahu dia memikirkan betapa bodohnya aku ini ..
aku musti tidor awal ..
aku musti bersemangat ..
aku musti menjadi anak malaysia yang berguna ..
aku musti mengibarkan bendera negaraku .. bukan bendera putih yang kukibarkan selama ini ..

AH, KIRANYA SEMANGAT PATRIOTIK KU INI SEDANG MEMBARA .. BUAHAHAHAH!!

friday, im in love !!

2005-08-26T11:56:00.000+08:00

I don't care if monday's blue
Tuesday's grey and wednesday too
Thursday i don't care about you
It's friday i'm in love
Monday you can fall apart
Tuesday wednesday break my heart
Thursday doesn't even start
It's friday i'm in love

Saturday wait
And sunday always comes too late
But friday never hesitate...

I don't care if monday's black
Tuesday wednesday heart attack
Thursday never looking back
It's friday i'm in love

Monday you can hold your head
Tuesday wednesday stay in bed
Or thursday watch the walls instead
It's friday i'm in love

Saturday wait
And sunday always comes too late
But friday never hesitate...

Dressed up to the eyes
It's a wonderful surprise
To see your shoes and your spirits rise
Throwing out your frown
And just smiling at the sound
And as sleek as a shriek
Spinning round and round
Always take a big bite
It's such a gorgeous sight
To see you eat in the middle of the night
You can never get enough
Enough of this stuff
It's friday
I'm in love

happy weekend evewwyone!! muaks!!

dying to be thin

2005-08-25T13:13:00.000+08:00

Today, i came to know that one of my groupmates is currently sick. This girl is always known to be the one who always refrained herself from eating. She used to be seen taking only a bite of bread as meal. For her, what makes her feel beautiful is to see another girl who is fatter than her and started commenting about the girl's physical appearance. She's dying to be thin and now she suffers from her own perception of what beauty is. As for me, being skinny didn't win the race ...

You may have heard it said that one of the differences between a man and a woman is that when a man looks at himself in the mirror, he admires the one physical feature about himself that's attractive, while a woman only sees the features she considers unattractive. I can't verify that this is true of men, but it certainly seems true of women. Whether real or imagined, our eyes hone in on our "imperfections." We see the blemish. We compare ourselves to the world's current ideal of beauty, and always come up short.

Women have always been tempted to become preoccupied with their physical appearance. However, it appears that contemporary women are more driven in their pursuit of physical beauty than ever. Blitzed by the media, we are continually presented with voices and images that dictate what we ought to look like. In previous centuries women might have compared themselves with the other ten women in their village, but today women compare themselves with supermodels — women put on display by the worldwide fashion industry precisely because they do not look like everyone else! That image of beauty is today so narrow in its range that most women feel unattractive in comparison.
Even worse is the deception in the fashion industry itself. Did you know that most magazine models don't even look like their own photos?! Fashion editors admit that nearly all photographs of leading models have been digitally altered.

Just imagine: this unusually attractive model has been toned with the help of her personal trainer, her hair has been done by a professional stylist, her face has been painted by a makeup artist using the best products, then dozens or hundreds of images of her have been captured by a world-class fashion photographer under ideal lighting, and the single best image has been identified. After this, if the model still doesn't look good enough, she is recast through computer graphics!

But all this begs the question: why? Why are women so obsessed with physical beauty? Why would women go to such extremes to be beautiful as culturally defined? Why aren't we pleased with "normal"?
The answer is simple and sobering: our hearts are full of evil desires and sinful lusts. And to differing degrees our hearts have believed the lie that physical beauty will bring satisfaction and recognition. You know the false promises: If you're beautiful, you will be happy and successful. You will be popular among women, you will be desirable to men. You will know lasting intimacy and true love. You will be confident and secure. You will be important and significant.

These are all things our sinful hearts crave. We lust for success, recognition, significance, importance, and approval. We become obsessed with making ourselves physically beautiful in an attempt to satisfy these sinful cravings. Yet the message is a lie. Physical beauty does not ensure happiness, fulfillment, or success. Throughout history, the lives of the most physically attractive women have often been disproportionately tragic and pitiful.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to
her heart, the place where love resides.
True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows.
The beauty of a woman only grows with passing years.
by Audrey Hepburn

new layout

2005-08-24T19:12:00.000+08:00

aku mempunyai layout baru ... bwahahahahah!!! doumo arigato meru-chan

by postsecret

craving for beryani gham

2005-08-17T23:03:00.000+08:00

Besides reading Harry Potter, i'm currently busy compiling past year question papers especially from Surgery just to make sure i'll not 'terhegeh-hegeh' looking for those papers by the end of the semester. It's just me and my study-partner who loves to revise mostly from previous exam papers cos as u know, i'm a last-minute book wormie .. hehehe!! I'm telling you, don't be like me cos u guys won't gain anything except memorizing everything, burnt the 'midnite oil' and vomitted out whatever u've read the nite before in the following exam day and u'll forget most of the thing the following weeks. Kinna bad habit, huh??

Compilling all the past year exam papers is not that easy .. so, i plan not to share it with anyone except my study partner. How about that? Hahahaha!! Say anything that u want to say .. kedekut ilmu ke .. ape ke .. i did it as i've promised myself before the exam not to lend my notes to anyone until i graduate. U see, in my previous study weeks, i've lost some of my precious time to study just by searching back for all my notes that i've borrowed to some unresponsible 'mangkuk'. I've lost my notes so many times that i've no gut to lend it to anyone else. It started since my first year when i first lost my precious Anatomy notes with colourful sketches of human system in it. I don't understand why some people have to do this especially when exam's approaching. Tak tahu ke, curi nota orang tu tak berkat .. what a mangkuk!

By the way, the engagement will be just in two days from now. Chewah! Macam aku jek yang nak bertunang *wink* I'm craving for beryani gham actually. Hehe!! I'm a beryani lover eversince i was in India. U guys should try the real beryani, especially Hydrabadi Beryani cos it's just so tasteful that u'll crave for it most of the time. Hahaha!! I'm just kidding .. but if u guys have seen any beryani with green gravy before, that's what we call Hydrabadi beryani. The gravy's green because of the special herbs that is being used. Kinna expensive but you won't regret once u tried it ..

Kay la .. tamau merepek ... nak sambung keje .. jan- ne!!

p/s: me still on my mood of buying make-ups.Latest collection .. from Red Earth .. my dad's going to kill me .. ;p

of ramblings

2005-08-16T12:01:00.000+08:00

It was yesterday when everbody were talking about a patient whom allegedly jumped from fourth floor and died on the spot. It was most prolly the chronic depression that he had that made he did such an attempt. As i am currently posted to psychiatry department, we took few hours just to discuss about this. I would agree that being a doctor is not just to make your patient physically healthy, but mentally too. It's worth of everything if a doctor spend at least 2-3 minutes, building rapport to his patient, listening to what has make his patient feel so sick, look into his heart and give an emotional support to him. I agree that doctors most of the time are just too busy doing his work treating the patients and i would not blame anyone here since it was the patient's current depression due to hematoma that compressed his brain. Enuff said ..

Owh yeah, Harry Potter's story is overwhelming me .. hehehe!! I have to say that this book has cut down my sleeping time to 4 hours a day .. heh, i was hoping it'll not ended tragically like the previous book. I like Sirius Black. Why did he has to appear for just short period of time and died that instantly? isk, isk ...

To be honest, i dun really enjoy my birthday this year. The day came when i was in the middle of my most stressful subject during the exam which is Surgery. Mi amor came to surprise me rite at 12 o'clock in the midnite, bringing my favourite banana choc cake, bouquet of flowers and colourful balloons. We din't celebrate since i told him it's better for me to finish my exam first. I din't expect any present from him but to my surprise, i received a holiday package to Sabah including a hiking trip rite up to Mount Kinabalu. Hurraaahh!!

To my friends whom getting married this month, i'm so sorry if i can't make to your wedding ceremony since i'm going to attend mi amor's brother's engagement this coming weekend and balik kampung the following weekend .. i was surfing on the net when i found this very 'interesting' sexual act to be shared with u guys .. but please, DO NOT PERFORM THOSE FOUR 'SPECIAL ACTS' ON YOUR FIRST NIGHT.. ahahahha!!!

Outercourse is sexual activity that does not involve penetration. No bodily fluids are intended to be exchanged, and outercourse is therefore often considered a practice of safer sex as well as of birth control (but see below for exceptions).
Some practices of outercourse include oral sex, sexual roleplaying, heavy petting, clothed frotteurism, and mutual masturbation.

Other specific forms of outercourse include:

axillary intercourse: putting the penis in the other person's armpit

interfemoral intercourse: putting the penis between the other person's thighs

Mammary intercourse : putting the penis between the other person's breasts

Frotteurism and tribadism: same sex genital-to-genital friction.

Note that with oral sex, there is a higher risk (varying on how much higher by what activity one is referring to) of getting sexually transmitted diseases (including HIV) than with other forms of outercourse, but studies have shown (so far) that there is less chance of getting these diseases through oral sex than with vaginal intercourse. One can reduce the risk of getting sexually transmitted diseases this way by using barrier methods. The risk of pregnancy for heterosexuals with oral sex is only through contact between sperm-bearing fluids such as semen or Cowper's fluid and female sex organs, though the sex organs aren't usually in close contact with oral sex.

Note that interfemoral intercourse and genital rubbing, although notionally forms of outercourse, can carry a risk of pregnancy for heterosexuals through transfer of sperm-bearing fluids such as semen or Cowper's fluid to the sex organs, and that any of the activities above can pose a risk of sexually transmitted diseases if any body fluids are deposited on wounds or mucous membranes such as those of the sex organs or anal membranes.

in da house

2005-08-14T22:21:00.000+08:00

Hello world! huhu!! it's been awhile ... i repeat, AWHILE .. demn, my Internet explorer browser had suddenly crashed down rite after ive finished my exam. Exam's over for the last two weeks, and ere i am, back to square one. One thing i gained when exam is around is that i started to lose weight again. Hehe! Eh, bukan diet okie, it's just that when i started to grab the book and be a 'last-minute' book wormie, i almost forgotten my days and nights, even everything around me. Sometimes, i dun even know that time passes and only realized when i heard azan from the nearby mosque. Phew! Me need a getaway!

I dun really care whatever comment that ppl has put on IE browser, this browser is my only choice. I've tried the firefox while waiting for my friend to re-install IE, but it's just not suits me well. I dun care, 'musang berapi' ke, 'musang berjanggut' ke, IE is still the best for it's ability on direct downloading. Full stop ..

Anyway, ive started on Harry Potter's new series, to be honest, few pages of the book has already makes me go on to sleep .. hehehe!! why larr?? Think me need time before starting to grab any type of books ..

My new posting which is Psychiatry really put me on joyous mood. It's the super-relaxing posting i've ever been through. Furthermore, i find it interesting to meet any manic or schizo patient and started interviewing them when in the end you get to know that whatever they tells you are full of lies.. hehehe!! It's pathetic, but for me, it's challenging when it comes on taking a case of a schizo patient. Last few days, i came to meet a manic patient who really loves my glitter earrings and tried barter-trading her bangles for my bling-bling. Huhu!!

There's alot to share with u guys .. but later, yeah!

p/s: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELIO ...
You have just got yourself a full set of M.A.C make-ups with a makeover, nice hairdo, the coolest spectacles u've ever imagine plus contact lenses, TOUGH shirt and jeans and a BABY-G .. Last but not least, ur going to be bankrupt anytime soon .. be proud .. hahaha!! ;p

I'M ON HIATUS

2005-07-21T19:49:00.000+08:00

my third posting for my final semester has finally meet the end today.i have faced the EOP exam with BIG smile.The obstetric case was easy and ive been given extra marks for my case write-up. me feel so relief! weeheeee!! but a-hah, this 'relief' signal will last upto tomorrow cos i'll be facing mid-sem in two weeks time. AKU MUSTI STUDY!HUHUHU! *with da kiasu look* =P

anyhow, my part time unpaid job as a leader for my group has also ended since they will change the group leader for every posting. Again, i feel relief too since my total responsibilities for my group members has lasted. I'll be back to what i used to be .. 'SI PEMONTENG TUTORIAL YANG BERJAYA'. hehe! Eventhough i'm categorized as one who's very hardworking in terms of finishing assignments, i'm just as lazy as i am when it comes to attending tutorial. See?!! I don't mind when some people does not believe i'm medical student cos i don't have 'KETOKOHAN' to become one. My medical student nerd scale is at it's lowest level .. trust me .. =)

owh yeah, it's time for HER to be our next group leader for our Psychiatry posting. let's see who's being 'ikhlas' this time. since that incident, i became someone who's not ME. i'm always aware, anxious about other people commenting about me, especially when playing my role of a leader. Can u see how her total blast comment affects me? I tried to become perfect although i know no one can be as perfect as they can be. My friends told me to take it easy cos they claimed she has no right to put on any comment on what i did and she deserved to be totally ignored. It's true actually but the incindent will never be brushed away from my memory. I mean, who can forget their bad memories,kan? it's even stronger than good ones *breathe elio breathe*

btw, to whomever currently watching the kinda new reality tv show, 'Who wants to marry my dad', i would like to ask few questions .. *i happened to watch one episode of the show when i switched the tv channel for a football game*
1) it's kinna 'geli' to watch the show, isnt it?
2) do you guys think that the dad is flirtatious?
3) what will be your respond if you're one of his children?
4) do you think we should change the show to 'Who wants to marry my dad's money'?
5) or 'Who wants to marry my tokwan' instead?

As the matter of fact, this blog will be on hiatus till mid sem is over .. wish me luck! Cheeeriooo!!

can't hardly wait to read this book after mid-sem .. owh, don't get me wrong, i just luuuurrrrve children's book mucho .. my bookshelves are stuffed more with these books than medical books instead .. heheh!

Forget HER not

2005-07-19T09:21:00.000+08:00

For such a hi-fi technology in this millenium era .. i havta to say that i'm impressed .. heheheh!! ;P

PROTECT HER PRIVATES

Ever worry about your wife cheating?
Want to know where your daughter is late at night?
Need to know when your girlfriend's temperature is rising?
This amazing device will answer all of your questions! These panties can give you her location, and even her temperature and heart rate, and she will never even know it's there! Unlike the cumbersome and uncomfortable chastity belts of the past, these panties are 100% cotton, and use cutting-edge technology to help you protect what matters most.

Mari order yak!yak!

I don't go to sleep to dream

2005-07-12T23:35:00.000+08:00

Well another entry inspired by another round of listening to Tori Amos in my car as LOUD as possible trying to clear my head. My thoughts have been spinning out of control these past few weeks. My emotions and desires are erratic and irrational, but I don't know if that's just me telling myself that or if they actually are. This is going to be a messy entry so please bare with me and hopefully by the time I reach my final thoughts I will have accomplished what I set out to do.

Desires, hopes, dreams, what are all these things, and when do we know that they are sincere and not our desire to just have some sort of emotion toward something. I guess this lays in the fact that most people consider me somewhat of a drama queen. Do I just seek out dramatic situations and go with it. What if I just think what will make my life incredibly difficult and dramatic and then just seek it out without looking back. OK I know that this cant be the case, but sometimes I feel like there must be a reason that drama and I always find each other. Then again maybe the reason I never get exactly what I want, is because I want things that I was never meant to have in the first place. Or maybe I want TOO much, but is it really possible to want too much for ourselves.

What if I just hope and dream for things that can never, and will never be just for the sake of the dramatics that will go along with the pursuit?

"After all what was I really looking for
and I wonder, when will I learn
Maybe my wish, knew better than I did
and I wonder
when will I learn
when will I learn
guess I was in Deeper than I thought I was
if I have enough love for the both of us"
Strange Tori Amos

I don't know where dreams come from or how they develop, although I guess this would be helpful in knowing just what they tell you and where you should go with them. The dreams I am talking about too are not the convoluted ones that I had as a child of dreaming someday I would be a princess or that I would grow up to look like Barbie. I mean the things that really keep you going each day. The dreams that no matter what happens the fact that you had them will keep you going even without quite getting there. I don't want to share these dreams because they are things deeply protected within my heart and quite frankly I don't want to over expose my inner workings and thoughts and desires over the internet. I guess what I'm trying to get at is I have all these dreams inside that I secretly want and desire, but some of them are quite destructive to the status quo or somewhat unattainable. So are they things that I really want or are they things I just know will make a great story in my life that has become similar to a Soap Opera these past couple of weeks. (I actually had a friend tell me yesterday that he had no need for TV when he had the life of ME to follow) Anyway, I hold these things close in secret and I guess part of me doesn't want to reveal them because they seem so overly dramatic and some even laughable. Does that make them BAD dreams though? Maybe that's the essence of the dream itself maybe it's supposed to fell unattainable, irrational, and uncomfortable! If it wasn't I would be able to just wake up one day get it have it and be done with it, but then it wouldn't be all that fun would it? I guess that's where Tori's quote comes in, what if sometimes our hopes and desires know a little bit better then our head and our heart. Maybe they keep themselves off limits and unattainable because they know it will only lead to heartache and despair. I would always contest that finally getting something that you have dreamed for and wanted a long time shouldn't be painful, but then again I know this to be wrong. Sometimes it's not the dream that stings as much as the consequences and chain of events that happens after.

So maybe after all this dreams are just a waste of time and we shouldn't hope or want for anything. That just doesn't seem like a great way to live life to me. I think there is a certain happiness for wishing and wanting things you will never have. I also think that no dream could really be all that bad if it's what you really want. The one thing I have learned through all this is the next time I'm face to face with my dream I won't run away from it as I did this time. I guess sometimes there is also fear in getting what you wanted in the first place!

My ideal career would be ...

2005-07-11T17:09:00.000+08:00

Your Career Type: Artistic

You are expressive, original, and independent.
Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art.

You would make an excellent:

Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor
Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer
Dancer - DJ - Graphic Designer
Illustrator - Musician - Sculptor

The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.

What's Your Ideal Career?

OMG! This is oh-so true ..
And why do i havta be a medical student in the first place?
Hmmm .... *trying to remember the past*

Ode to my 'Old Shoes'

2005-07-10T19:10:00.000+08:00

disclaimer: written for me first adidas .. i'm dead bored on Sunday!!

These worn-out shoes of mine.
I have walked in for many a day.
These "Old Friends" are truly divine.
These "Old Friends" have led me many miles.
In the power of my Creator's love.
Many perfectly awesome people have admired my "Old Friends" and blessed me with precious godly smiles.
I truly couldn't ask for more.
One day I laced up a new pair of shoes, and went for a walk.
Leaving my "Old Friends" behind.
I figured that I would let them snooze.
When I returned back home, I was forced to listen to my "Old Friends" talk.
"Next time take me! I love to roam."
My "Old Friends"
you are a royal blessing to my godly guiding feet.
You reward me with comfort,with every inspired walk.
My "Old Friends"
I will always love you!
Yes! These well-worn shoes are most unique.
My "Old Friends" have taken me from place to place.
These old shoes have set me free to walk in the joy of God.
My "Old Friends" are packed with love.
Each and every day, memories are freshenedplacing a smile of joy upon my smiling face.
Thank you for my "Old Friends"
heavenly God I pray.

The smelly mello

2005-07-07T12:25:00.000+08:00

I have all along felt that men who took effort to make themselves presentable are men who respect themselves. Of course there are also another group of people who hold a second view about men who dress up: Vain!

To me, being presentable to others is different from being presentable to one's self. Also, presentable is not just limited to one's dressing but also how one smell, especially the men.

I have once encountered an awful experience on the bus. A young man got on the bus and settles himself onto the seat beside me. Happily dozing away, I did not notice that he got on the bus until a stench jerked me up from my 'sleep'! What's that smell? Ah ha! Who is this new guy beside me? Determined to find out what that awful stench is, I took a deep breath (pretty stupid of me).

So it is he. The awful stench is from his body! He did not look sweaty but that stench is so unbearable! So is that the natural stench of men? Hmm .. so men out there, pay attention to the smell you emit!

I understand that all human beings regardless of gender emit certain body smell. I see that it is pointless to determine whether it is a smell or a stench. The most important thing is keep yourself smelling nice or to the minimum odourless. There is so many things in the market that can keep one from smelling like the rubbish chute: colognes, perfumes for the men, deodorants, powder etc.

Personally, I prefer men who smell nice, especially men who use perfumes. This indicates their willingness to respect themselves as well as respecting the noses of others! A clue for men who hopes to attract the attention of the female sex: wear something that smells nice, this would impress the women, and 'motivate' the females to want to stand or sit closer to you!

However, one word of advice too: do not try to show off that you can afford perfumes or colognes!

crimson room

2005-07-05T19:22:00.000+08:00

If ur mentally challenged or u feel like doing so, do visit ere and help me get the other three items and get me outta the room!! Pening siol cari mende2 tersembunyik ni .. heh .. good luck!

anger management

2005-07-03T20:32:00.000+08:00

I know i'm such a person who takes everything that had happened in my life too personally. i just can't take things too easy. Semua pun amik berat .. hish .. That explains why my friends started calling me miss grumpy. Yerp, i became too grumpy lately. Semua pun nak marah. I pressured myself with my personal problems,i guess .. chill elia, chill ..

My friend suggested that i spend my weekend in a place that can really ease my tension. Ive decided to spend my weekend at mi amor's hometown, Batu Pahat. His family welcomed me with their open arm. His mum asked me whether i can really stay in their 'uncomfortable' house. Of course i don't mind since i really love to spend my time in kampung, especially those surrounded by dusun. It was enjoyable when me and him climbed the rambutan tree, plucked and eat those fresh fruits. Owh yeah, we climbed the mangosteen trees too until the mum started scolding him for letting me do such things since she scared i would fall down. I learned one thing about the rambutan tree. There's such rambutan species called 'budak sekolah', named after school kids who loved to plucked 'em off whenever they get back from school. I also learned that i'm such an eater! huhu!! makan banyak sey, sampai semua orang perasan .. sangat memalukan, heh .. ;p

He brought me around his hometown, showing his old school, his 'lepak' place whenever he skipped school and memorial place which explains the name behind Batu Pahat. I never knew BP is quite developing, compared to my own hometown. Banyak keta cun woo .. huhu!. We even spent time watching sunset at Pantai Minyak Beku. It was interesting since ive never been to any southern district before. BP become more interesting when night comes. It's not because of the pubs or discos; it's the varieties of food i can choose at varieties of restaurants and stalls. Besh sangat! From Javanese foodstuff to my favourite juicy satays .. yummy yummy yummy ..

I'm back in Melaka now. Spending time with him is worth of everything. Moreover when i have chances to get close to his family member. They made me feel so easy being with them. Even mi amor gets jealous when his mum stuffed me with her cookings more than she ever did to him. This is the best therapy that i would consider as part of my anger management.

Any more suggestion, peeps??

she

2005-07-01T00:49:00.000+08:00

It was 5 years ago when i first met with this girl during the orientation when i was in my first year. She's kinna cute, chubby and happy go lucky type of girl. I felt easy being with her, tagging with her most of my first few months since i first stepped in India. We're so closed together. I used to sleep in her room almost every night just to kill my homesickness. We were oh-so quite happy .. and thus, it was just part of the memories ..

It all started when she suddenly moved out from the hostel without ever telling me why she had done so. Not even a single word came out from her mouth when i asked her whether i did something wrong that has hurt her feelings. She kept herself away from me. I wasnt invited to any of her party held in her new house. I was hurt, to be honest. Especially when i don't really know wut is going on between us. I moved to a quite comfortable hostel after that, to the room which was quite near from my senior's room. She was there almost everyday with the senior.. i dont care less about her since she completely ignored me. Until one day, when i was sleeping in the room .. my senior knocked on the door asked me to meet her in her room. I was still feeling drowsy when i stepped in my senior's room and saw HER crying. She cried like a baby and she confessed to everyone in the room those mistakes ive ever committed to her. I was shocked and sad when all the accusations were totally absurd and illogical. One of it which i can still remember was, 'I'm known to her mother as a bright girl, whom did well in the exam and the mother compared me with her' ..ok, if i ever tell everyone about this, most will come out with same response ---> 'it's between her and her mother, for God sake. Nothing to do with you.' I'm sorry to say this but if i'm her, i would take it as a challenge and study hard to compete with those i was compared with instead of crying helplessly like a cry baby. I did not just kept my silence. I did call her mum after that, asking whether the mum did said that to her. The mum denied actually, she instead started calling me everyday asking about her daughter's condition. I wanted to completely ignore the mum's call. But i just can't since my mum and her mum were friends. SHE asked for forgiveness for what she had done few weeks later and i was ok with it ..

Although our so-called friendship was totally fine on the next few years, ive put certain limit and be extra careful. We hardly talk eventhough we're in the same group till now. I'm not delusional but one thing i realized about HER is that, she seemed to find fault with me eventhough i have nothing against her. It happened almost every semester, every year. I tried to completely ignore her but whenever i tend to do so, she was the one who showed how much she cared about me. And whenever i'm totally fine with her, whenever i tried to be nice and talk to her, she started to turn back and stepped away. I really, totally, truly, deeply have no idea what was on her mind everytime she did that to me. It's not just me who realized her action, but everyone around me. They think she's 'crazy' but i dont know how can i describe her.

Yesterday, i was complaining about losing my credit when i called the lecturer to make arrangements for classes (since im the current group leader) when i ended knowing he was in London. For God sake, i din't even make an attempt to complain about this in front of her. But she, of all the sudden, started to make a comment right in front of everyone in the group that i'm such a bad group leader. She claimed i lied to all the members since the beginning of the semester, i'm not 'ikhlas' in everything i did and so on .. i knew at that time my patience towards her has ended in an instance when i started to question her about what she did to me all this years .. i asked her what have i done wrong and she responded this way --> 'Awak tanya diri awak sendiri. Dah la buat kerja tak ikhlas, menipu orang pulak tu'. I mean, hellooo ... who is she to question about my 'keikhlasan' in doing my job? 'Ikhlas' is something between me and God.

She was then had intention to talk to me personally. She told everyone that i'm such a liar since my beginning of my friendship with her. As for me, ive made my final decision to become a complete ignorant. I will made her invisible in my life. I'm not ego, i'm not trying to run away from this problem. In fact, i don't find any problem with her at all. She's the one who claimed how i made her life so miserable most of the time. We hardly talk, nor meet each other except for classes, for Godsake. I don't know whether it's me or her who's delusional. And to be honest, like what most of my friend said, im starting to claim that she's 'crazy'. To discuss with her?? i would say no-no ..

For me, ignorance is bliss ..

2005-06-29T18:12:00.000+08:00

And so, i went out with mi amor just to celebrate his promotion to Sabah. Me, in my sad mood while he looked so happy; he laughed, he made jokes and all. OK, i would have thought at that time that he wanted trying to make me happy. We went out for nice dinner, shopping together and had enjoyed our favourite drinks at Starbucks. He told me that he wanted to show me something and asked me to grab his file from behind the car. It was a letter regarding his promotion. I read through the letter and to my surprise, he actually was promoted to Melaka! I screamed happily when it comes to know that we'll be nearer to each other starting from tomorrow and threw out thousands of questions on what makes he lied to me. All he said was .. "Baby, i really wanted to see how much you would miss me whenever i'm gone". Cis .. men are just full of surprises ..

Anyhow, I'm blissfully in love with this guy .. =)

a helping hand

2005-06-27T21:34:00.000+08:00

i was touched .. really touched when i saw the 5th episode of Bersamamu, a tv3 programme for those in need. The 5th episode really does made me cry .. and grateful, thankful for who i am, what i am now .. i'm asking from u guys .. let us help them .. lend 'em your helping hands .. God bless all of you ..

MAINI MARIAM – Sepasang suami isteri yang hidup dengan penuh kedaifan. Maini Kudat yang bekerja sebagai pembantu mekanik di bengkel, isterinya, Mariam Abdullah, dan lima orang anak , berusia di antara 11 tahun dan 12 bulan, terpaksa duduk menumpang di bekas kilang bata yang telah di tinggal lebih 12 tahun lalu. Si suami, Maini, menghidapi penyakit sawan yang mana kadangkala memaksanya tidak dapat ke tempat kerja justeru gajinya akan dipotong. Hanya pada Maini sahaja tempat mereka bergantung harapan bagi sesuap nasi. Dia bekerja keras untuk memastikan anak-anaknya meneruskan persekolahan sungguhpun kesempitan wang. Malah, dia terpaksa membayar tambang van RM 70 sebulan untuk dua anaknya ke sekolah. Pendapatan Maini tidak setinggi mana, kira-kira RM350 sebulan. Keadaan rumahnya begitu daif. Tiada bekalan elektrik, tiada bekalan air. Hidup bagaikan kais pagi makan pagi, tumbuhan di sekitar rumah adalah makanan mereka. Lebih menyedihkan, siput babi dijadikan santapan sekeluarga bagi meneruskan sisa-sisa hidup mereka. Dek kerana kedaifan ini, ahli keluarga terdekat menyisihkan mereka sekeluarga. Mereka pernah cuba mendapatkan bantuan dari pihak tertentu tetapi sehinga sekarang tiada sebarang jawapan.

ORANG YANG TERDEKAT UNTUK DIHUBUNGI

Sjn 65424 Kasnon Bin Kasnan
( Cawangan Sekolah)
F48 PUSAT LATIHAN POLIS KM
24 JLN PUNCAK BORNEO
93250 KUCHING, SARAWAK

Tel: 016-8829935 , 0128803056 (Sjn Kasnon Bin Kasnan)

The husband, who is a known epileptic patient, had no choice but to work currently at car wash place. The wife, whom recently having problem with the back pain since she fell down from the coconut tree, hasn't been able to walk properly and play her role as the mother for her 3 children. The eldest son, who had not been even registered for birth certificate and no chance at all to be at the right place where he is supposed to be, which is at school, currently working to support the family. It was so sad to watch these family had no choice but to eat only 'siput babi' and 'pucuk ubi' as their daily meal. As what peeps said, "berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu memikul" .. hmm ..

U guys can also donate via sms to 35333 .. for more info, please surf ere

girls_unattached.com

2005-06-20T22:18:00.000+08:00

venue: me room
time: sometime last weekend

in the middle of chit chatting with the aircond service guy ...

the guy: adik ni sekarang umur berapa?
me: sudah 25 le abg
the guy: uik, tua nya .. apsal still kart sini? orang lain umur macam awak ni sudah ada anak tiga la ..
me: erk?! (@!!%*&%#$$^%ggrggffhh!!!!)
the guy: so, awak ni dikira anak dara tua la ye .. heheheh!!
me: abang ni nak service aircond ke nak menghentam saye?
the guy: sorry sorry .. harap2 awak kahwin cepat la ek

Well, actually i don't care much about being this kinna 'old' to be here and pursue with my dream. But what is wrong for being remain single at this age? No matter how hard headed the woman is, in her heart, she does want to get married. I mean, who doesnt? maybe not now, but in years to come.

I was once had a year of relationship with this guy when in the end i came to know that all he wanted was marrying me as early as he can, keep me in the house as a 'desperate housewife' cos he will never let me work nor even study, produce as many 'progeny' as he can .. and so on .. well, lemme tell you something dear, yes you .. i'm more interested in finding what is wrong with my car when it breaks down, repair my own dvd player and hooking up with my laptop rather than becoming your 'house-doll' .. :)

I had a chat with mi amor's mummy yesterday. She was complaining about how 'shallow' men are, how they see physical beauty as the main criterion in choosing a life partner, how they don't look at how great that person is (even if the chemistry's there, albeit intellectually) but how good the girl looked.Why do men place importance more on physical attraction rather than emotional and spiritual ones? It's not as if these attributes will last a lifetime ( maybe that's why women try so hard at making themselves immortally youthful by doing liposuction, breast implants, facelift, etc.). *No offense, guys*

Maybe society has a part to play in this bias towards women. Society has long put a rigid template for women to live by. Just look at how many body modifications women have at their disposal just to look like the models and actresses we see in magazines and TVs. Hence influencing males to think that slim is beautiful, fair is attractive and so on, and so forth.

Everything cost! Nothing comes free. Success too cost something. These women with vision also face the consequence of marrying later in their life or not at all. Sometimes it's not because of their lousy in socializing. It's not their fault to be successful and earn more than guys. But most guys do feel inferior dating a woman who drives an E-Class Kompressor, earn 5 figures per month, live in a penthouse in the middle of Kuala Lumpur and a CEO of a big company. They feel uncomfortable with this kind of woman. Seriously, most guys find it a turn off dating woman who's smarter, earning more than them and has a good career. Their ego will tell them NO because it has redirected their beliefs that this kind of woman will lead them to a female-dominant relationship and surrounding in marriage, thus leading their beliefs of Queen Controlisme.

There's nothing wrong with Queen Controlisme. Britain for example is led by a queen and Margaret Tatcher is remembered as one of the famous first lady in the world! They're married and their companion is not seen or labeled as weakling. This guys even give supports, motivation and play an important role towards their other half best interest! There's nothing to loose in marrying this woman with vision. Actually, it's advantageous and beneficial! Think about it guys! ;p

Happiness can be found in different sorts of situations. Life consist of ups and down. There're times I felt down and there are times I am truly happy with my life. Those are the things that make us human not just to other people but to our own soul. And marriage is about two people living together. For that experience to be a happy one, it requires a matching of expectations, a matching of ambitions, or at least, and acceptance of both in each other.

- The End -

Mind the roaches

2005-06-16T16:27:00.000+08:00

it's time to go up

2005-06-15T16:55:00.000+08:00

Like wut Miss Aida has said, when u feel down and your life keeps on going down too, you have no where else to go but to go up .. ur right, babe. I recently felt like my life is going to end very soon, since im in total bancruptcy, and all the bad news came overwhelming me, my life started to shine again. Last weekend, i was told by my sister that my dad has paid me all the summons since she informed him that i might be eating sands since i have zero amount of pocket money.. and it was a total relief. huhu! thanx to her.. love you mucho sis! muaks! Besides, he gave me the allowances too .. ;p

And yesterday, another good news overflowing me. I almost jumped to the rooftop when i received call from my scholarship sponsor telling that they've sent cheque for my 6 months allowances.. a BIG HUUURRAAHHH!!! I can never imagine my life will shine again in such a short instance. Thank GOD .. Alhamdulillah .. :)

Ups and downs ... that's wut life is all about, don't you think so?

Owh, this is only a short post since im the only person in my group who will be sitting for Medicine end of posting tomorrow. Wish me luck!

bad news .. oh bad news

2005-06-08T16:25:00.000+08:00

Next week will my last medicine posting for this final semester of the final year .. Phew! ;p as usual,almost everyday, we,the seniors will be compared to juniors regarding our 'stupidity' and lack of knowledge. i dunno whom can we blamed here, the lecturer, the college or us,the seniors. but as years passing by and the college has improved so much from the past, the juniors get all the benefit.. in terms of their wide open opportunity to get to learn everything from the hospital facilities. the college management should realized how the previous batches were so-called 'dianaktirikan' from the hospital staff themselves. they dissapproved us in almost everyway. From the opportunity to step into A&E department to performing all procedures with supevision. Even the nurses in OTs (operation theatre) gets all the gossips of Manipal student.. they were told that we're just as lazy as we can be .. and prefer having our own sweet time rather than studying 24hrs at the library... what the heck! Medical students need a break too! we're not kiasus .. remember that..

I received two 'love letters' from my parents in Kedah. It has been a year since my last 'love letter' but those are among the most expensive 'love letters' that i have to pay for my carelessness .. tsk tsk .. those traffic summon letters cost me a bancruptcy as i'm just a student who totally dependant on my parents allowance. demn la .. mana mau korek duit klu camni .. trully speaking,im a fast driver and i deserved summons if im that speedy enough to cause other road users in danger .. huhu! but those are the summons i received for driving 91km/hr in an 80km/hr area .. i really can't accept it. two weeks of summons in a row. speedtrap site: Ayer Keroh HIghway at 80km/hr mahal siot!. I really dint notice the road sign that shows 80km/hr cos of all the travelling i made, im really aware of the speed sign. So, last night, my friend and i drove around the area to look for the 80km/hr sign and guess wut have we found? a nicely placed sign behind a big tree. Siot tul! Wut i can conclude here is that the traffic police should be more aware that the road sign are nicely hided there .. jangan la main pasang speed trap jek .. wutever it is, ive declared a bancruptcy for this month. To those who are aware that they've borrowed me ringgits, it's payback time to ceti .. This ceti's car roadtax will be expired soon. She needs money to pay the summons before she can renew the tax .. thank you

Yesterday, another bad news came flowing nicely to me. I received a call from mi amor telling that he got promoted to Kota Belud, Sabah for at least two years. I was kinna shocked that i dint sleep at all last nite just to know the fact that he's leaving in two weeks time. It'll be another distance relationship, after all the difficulties we had been through when i was studying in India and he's patiently waiting for me here. During my acute insomnia, i made few searchings via Internet just to know Kota Belud better: how to get there, what kinna transportation they have there, are there any mobile coverage, how long is the journey to Kota Belud from Kota Kinabalu etc etc .. i learned that most of the residences are Bajau Laut, the best coverage was Maxis and Digi, it takes more than 80km from KK to get to Kota Belud, no buses available except for the taxis and most importantly, the internet cafe was available .. and it was a total relief!! At least we can still get connected by any means. Shame on me cos my first few impressions for Kota Belud were very much rural area, with lack of basic amenities, hardly any mobile coverage blablabla .. and ive prove myself wrong.. nanti kite supply banyak medication untuk awak,k since ur so vulnerable to get sick. it's not that easy baby for me to adapt ur invisible existence in my life when ur gone later, please take a note of it,heh .. remember the song that u used to sing to me? from Kent? u wanted me to stay with you and now you're leaving .. and yeah, i'm like that weeping child now .. emmm ...sob!sob! :'((

Kent - Stay With Me

I feel like everybody said I would feel
It's over now, so kill the lights
I need what everybody said I would need
I'm tied uptight by your china voice
That always broke when I made you sad
Stay with me stay
Don't leave in this way
Stay with me stay
I'll do whatever you say
I do what everybody said I would do
It's over now, so kill the lights
I go where everybody said I would go
Like a weeping child, were you the only one
That made it feel right being me
Stay with me stay
Don't leave in this way
Stay with me stay
I'll do whatever you say
And like today awaits tomorrow
And like tomorrow needs today
I need your simple words to follow
I'll do whatever you say
Stay with me stay
Don't leave in this way

I guess ill just wait for another bad news ..

When will i see the good ones?*sigh*

Phobias of the rich and famous

2005-06-06T21:10:00.000+08:00

The dictionary defines a phobia as "an irrational, excessive, and persistent fear of some particular thing or situation." According to medical experts, there are more than 700 specific phobias currently documented.

Several phobias are widespread, such as "claustrophobia" (fear of enclosed spaces), "ophidiophobia" (fear of snakes), or "acrophobia" (fear of heights).

Some common phobias include fear of certain animals, being alone, open spaces, blood, or the Number 13 ( triskaidekaphobia). To accommodate the prevalent fear many people have of the Number 13, numerous multi-story buildings do not list the 13th floor as such, but skip from the 12th to the 14th. The spectacular auction of Princess Diana's used evening dresses before her death did not include a catalogued Number 13 dress, jumping from Number 12 to Number 14.

Even famous people have their intense fears:
Aviophobia (also called aerophobia): According to a study performed by Boeing Aircraft Corporation in 1980, 25 million Americans were scared to fly on airplanes. Famous notables of aviophobia include:

Singer Aretha Franklin has an extreme fear of flying. She won't travel on airplanes, even for concerts clear across the country.
Actor and screenwriter Billy Bob Thorton has cancelled television appearances that required him to get on a plane.

Other celebrities who are aviophobic include:

Muhammad Ali, former champion boxer.
Bob Bechel, political analyst.
Ray Bradbury, science fiction writer.
Cher, singer/actress.
Florence Henderson, actress.
Glenda Jackson, actress and member of British Parliament.
Michael Jackson, singer.
John Madden, sportscaster.
Bob Newhart, comedian/actor.
Ronald Reagan, former U.S. President and actor.

Other celebrities with known phobias include: Actress Natalie Wood was hydrophobic - her accidental death by drowning in the ocean in 1981 was very strange and unsettling for those who knew her well. Tennis champ André Agassi has a phobia of spiders, according to Brooke Shields in a statement to the press in October 1996. Supernatural novelist Anne Rice has stated that she fears the dark. Actress Kim Basinger has a phobia of wide, open spaces. Film director Alfred Hitchcock had a peculiar fear of eggs, according to biographer Donald Spoto. Country star Lyle Lovett reportedly is afraid of cows. Pop singer Michael Jackson appears to have a phobia of germs (referring to his obsessive wearing of a surgical-style mask when out in public)

Lesser Known Phobias
Phobatrivaphobia: fear of trivia about phobias
Arachibutyrophobia: fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the
mouth
Carnedrapaphobic: afraid of being entangled in beef curtains
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia: fear of long words
Hydrohanesaphobia: irrational fear of wet t-shirts
Jonesesophobia: fear that someone else's stuff is better than yours
Iraqnophobia: fear of a career ending mistake
Missedopophobia: haunting fear that life has passed you by

2005-06-01T18:01:00.000+08:00

It has been awhile since my last surfing through friendster. Heh, kinna shock when i scrolled down the page and found this ..

Popular searches in my network...

1.meraba buah
2.pramugara terlampau
3.cute malaysia ladies
4.nabila-amy search
5.cute japanese ladies
6.isteri stim
7.jeslina hashim
8.abang nak ramas
9.HENJUTAN GANAS
10.ranjang-coli
11.nabila-amy

And I started wondering since when i did all those searchings ..

p/s: i'm not a pervert,ok .. ;p

Arjuna ku ...

2005-05-29T23:24:00.000+08:00

Last week was a blast
Met up with some of me old skool fwen and junior for the concert ive been longing for ..
Dewa was superb .. esp the vocalist .. tangkap leleh la .. ;p
The concert was worth the rm50 ive spent for the ticket ..
Dewa was on their tour concert for their new album, ive never heard even a single song from the album but really enjoyed it as much as i enjoyed their previous albums ..
The band received my 'scream out loud' voice version when they started jamming their previous hits ..
Thanx to mama since she has introduced me to this band since i was 15 ..
Me love Indon music scene mucho!
The not so good part was when Indon fanatic fans started pushing, throwing bottles and dance madly like no one else there to watch 'em ..
Yang kelakar nya, ada mamat Indon rambut ala trojan menangis bila Dewa nyanyi lagu cintun .. ilang macho la brader ..hahaha!!
And yeah, a second thanx to Kamdar as the co-sponsor .. Memang berbaloi :p

the concert pass

the crowd

the dude

me and the kiddos

This bitter pill

2005-05-26T20:35:00.000+08:00

As years goes by and im getting lil older than before, ive realized and learn so many things in my life. My life as medical stu has taught me so many things that i really should know and can ponder upon. I dunno why ive chosen this field from the beginning, but im dead sure that helping people really satisfies me ..

Ive been posted to Emergency department for more than a week. The only basic that i need when i was there is becoming patience .. yerp, patience is virtue. Forget about how tired you are, forget about how much u need a break, forget about everything .. even i never realized how fast the time goes by. Getting attached to medical staffs around especially the nurses and medical assistant made my life even easier as they helped me doing most of the procedures. Heh, now i know how phobic i am to see accident patients. Ive been attending only sick patients in the ward before but those who came to A&E, bleeding all over really makes me feel so dizzy. Yesterday there goes this patient who got hit by the car when he tried to rescue a cat. He has severe head injury and the coma scale is less than expected - he's half conscious still. The doctor asked me to help him with Tetanus injection. I approached the guy, looked at him and then .. blackout .. demmit, i dunno wut had happened to me. Ive done the dissections to cadaver during my first year before, ive attended so many surgeries in OTs and for this, i became panic and fainted. Memalukan .. heh ..

I was assigned for case presentation few days back. My approach to this patient regarding his uncontrolled diabetic disease makes me worry more about my own health. I have strong family history of diabetes, hypertension and heart disease, i noticed how thirst i am lately, how my urination changes it's frequency and how ive lost quite amount of weight. Yerp, im worry much about whether ive developed the diabetic disease too. I was quite right when i went for blood glucoes test and it was within the impared glucose tolerance range.Demn, i cant be a happy eater anymore. Tabley jalan jalan cari makan la lepas ni. No more yummy yummy food .. arrgghh!!

This diabetic patient of mine had repetitively told me how familiar i am to him. He told me i look more like a Pakistani. Haha!! Gelak besar la aku. Then, i told him i was actually from north. He said i'm too pretty to be a northern. I laughed again. Cess betul pakcik ni, ingat org kedah takde yang cantik-cantik ke? ;p He then continued .. "Doktor ni cantik. Tapi sayang kalau doktor tak cari suami dari kalangan orang beriman dan boleh faham kerjaya doktor .. pakcik boleh nampak doktor sekarang berkawan dengan orang yang kurang sesuai .." I kept my silence. Pakcik ni bomoh ke hapa ek? I'm not sure what makes he made the judgement. I'm not sure about my future. Only Allah knows the jodoh between me and him .. sabo je la .. Hopefully, the pakcik was wrong .. totally wrong ..

Since i keep on thinking about wut pakcik have said, i had a dream last nite, where i was forced to marry someone i hate most .. my ex-boyfriend. How come he suddenly appeared in my dream after all these years? I know ive tried to avoid him for years. Kalau jumpa tepi jalan pun, sure aku cabut lari .. macam nampak hantu. It's not that i'm afraid of him. I just want to forget about my past. It was sweet, but yet, painful .. And there comes him, appeared in my dream .. kena paksa kahwin ngan dia pulak tu .. isk, isk ... wut is this trying to tell me?? Some other new clues about my future too??

I'm all over messed up .. in and out .. no wonder la people call me miss comot lately .. perrghh!!

p/s: sorry about the rojak words ..

The Myth And Facts About Diet

2005-05-24T10:52:00.000+08:00

Myth 1

People tend to think they need a low fat diet to lose weight, but you should still have a third of your calories coming from fat.
Cholesterol is bad for you, low or zero-fat diets are good for you.

Fact

Cholesterol is a fatty substance that is made mostly by the liver. We all need some blood cholesterol as it's used to build cells and make vital hormones - and there's good cholesterol and bad cholesterol.Saturated fats found in food like meat, cheese, cream, butter and processed pastries tend to raise LDL (low density lipoprotein) cholesterol - known as 'bad' cholesterol - and this delivers cholesterol to the arteries. HDL (high density lipoprotein) - or 'good' cholesterol - transports cholesterol away from the arteries, back to the liver.

People tend to think they need a low fat diet to lose weight, but you should still have a third of your calories coming from fat. As a guideline, women need 70g (95g for men) of fat a day with 30g (40g for men) as the minimum. There's no need to follow a fat free diet, just cutting down on saturated fats and having unsaturated fats, found in things like olive oil and avocados, will help.

Myth 2

Crash dieting or fasting makes you lose weight.

Fact

This can be true in the short term but it can have negative side effects on cholesterol levels. 'Losing weight over the long term burns off fat, and crash dieting or fasting not only removes fat but also lean muscle and tissue. It can also make you feel dizzy or weak so it's much better to try long term weight loss.'

Myth 3

Food eaten late at night is more fattening.

Fact

Many diets tell you not to eat after a certain time in the evening in the belief that the body will store more fat because it is not burned off with any activity. A study was made to show how much the myth is still the myth --> Volunteers were placed in a whole body calorimeter (which measures calories burned and stored) and were fed with a large lunch and small evening meal for one test period, then a small lunch and large evening meal during a second test period. The results revealed the large meal eaten late at night did not make the body store more fat – it's the total amount eaten in a 24-hour period that's important.It is true that people who skip meals during the day, then eat loads in the evening are more likely to be overweight than those who eat regularly throughout the day. This may be because eating regular meals helps people regulate their appetite and overall food intake.'

Myth 4

Vegetarians can't build muscle.

Fact

Vegetarians can be equally as muscular as meat eaters by getting their protein from vegetable products like nuts, pulses and grains.You need protein to build muscle but too much can lead to long-term side effects, like putting the kidney under too much pressure. The body can only store a certain amount of protein, too much can damage the kidney. 50 per cent of energy should come from carbohydrates, 35 per cent from fat and the remaining 15 per cent from protein.

Myth 5

A slow metabolism prevents weight loss.

Fact

This is a common myth among overweight people trying to manage their weight. Studies have shown that resting metabolism, which is the number of calories used by the body at rest, increases rather than decreases as people become fatter. In other words, the larger you are, the more calories that are required to keep your body going. Weight gain occurs when the number of calories eaten is greater than the number used up by the body. Unfortunately, people are becoming increasingly sedentary, burning off less and less calories, and it seems likely this is a crucial factor in the increasing numbers struggling to control their weight.

Myth 6

Fattening foods make for rapid weight gain.

Fact

Believe it or not, true weight gain is a slow process. You need to eat an extra 3500 calories to gain one pound of body fat (and vice versa for losing it).If the scales say you've gained a few pounds after a meal out, it's largely due to fluid, which will resolve itself - as long as you don't get fed up, and keep overeating! A lot of people feel guilty and think they've blown their diet if they eat rich foods. But, how can a 2oz chocolate bar make you instantly put on pounds? Balance high fat foods with healthy food and activity for long term weight control.'

Myth 7

Low-fat milk has less calcium than full-fat milk.

Fact

Skimmed and semi-skimmed milk actually have more calcium, because the calcium is in the watery part, not the creamy part. 'If you're trying to lose weight and cut fat from your diet, skimmed milk is your best bet because not only is it lower in fat but it also has 10mg more calcium in 200ml of milk than full fat. Semi-skimmed is best for maintaining a healthy lifestyle if you're not dieting. Full fat milk is best for children, and adults who are underweight.'

Myth 8

Low-fat foods help you lose weight.

Fact

"Low-fat" or "fat-free" doesn't necessarily mean low calorie or calorie-free. Check the calorie content of foods, especially cakes, biscuits, crisps, ice creams and ready meals. Extra sugars and thickeners are often added to boost flavour and texture, so calorie content may be only a bit less, or similar to standard products. A low-fat food should contain no more than 3g fat per 100g.And watching the quantity is important.People tend to have half-fat spread but then use twice as much. And things like fruit pastilles may be low in fat but are high in sugar which turns to fat. So in low fat foods, look to see where else the calories might come from.

Myth 9

You always gain weight when you stop smoking.

Fact

When people stop smoking, some gain weight, some lose and some stay the same. It's far healthier to be an overweight non-smoker than not to bother giving up because you think you'll put on weight.Where people tend to fall down is when they replace a cigarette with comfort food. Chewing sugar-free gum or snacking on vegetable strips kept in the fridge is a good idea as you can have these instead of reaching for the biscuit tin. And something like a satsuma keeps your hands occupied until the craving goes away.

Myth 10

Bananas are fattening.

Fact

They are actually low in fat. There is only half a gram of fat and 95 calories in a banana. Not only that but they are packed with potassium, come in their own packaging, are clean and very handy as a snack!

I'm still a happy eater as long as i could ..
How bout you?

Battle of The Sexes

2005-05-17T17:36:00.000+08:00

Scientists decoding the human genome have discovered that just 78 genes separate men from women. But what are they?
It's the Y chromosome which makes men men, and now scientists have a better idea than ever before what makes it up.
But to help them on their way, and in an effort to help everyone understand the differences between the sexes, here are the suggestions about what those 78 genes might be.

THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN WOMEN AND MEN

1.Women understand colour. They seem to know what to wear all the time. Men just think red is nice, pink is nice, so why not have them together?
2.Women have the Oh dear, the toilet paper is on its last sheet; must replace it immediately gene. This is entirely absent in men who have the Oh s..t! Can you pass me a toilet roll, love? gene!
3.Men have no opinions about curtains.
4.On being told that someone has bought a new car women usually ask what colour it is - men ask what sort is it.
5.Women have the If you need to be told I am not going to tell you gene
6.Women know instinctively what is dangerous or not recommended for babies in their care. Men, generally speaking, do not.
7.Men like to have all their stuff (DVDs, CDs, etc) on show to impress their mates. Women like to hide things in cupboards.
8.Women have a built in calendar gene - we remember birthdays, anniversaries and appointments effortlessly.
9.Ask a woman in the street how to get somewhere and she will direct via shops. Ask a man and it will be via pubs.
10.Women put things on the bottom stair to take up next time she has to go upstairs. Men just step over them until told to pick them up
11.Men appreciate the importance of a 42 inch plasma screen. Women do not.
12.A multi-tasking gene is clearly only owned by women - men can never prepare dinner so that everything is ready at the same time.
13.Women can use sex to get what they want. Men cannot, as sex is what they want.
14.Women pick up on subtleties and then think about them. Men need things explained IN CAPITAL LETTERS before the message gets through.
15. Men speak in sentences. Women speak in paragraphs.
16.At weddings, women cry then get drunk. Men get drunk, then cry
17.For men, 2am is time for sleep. For women, 2am is time for a discussion about where our relationship is going.
18.When faced with flat-pack furniture, men never read the manual. Yet they spend hours reading manuals for cars or bikes they will never own.
19.Men can store useless information. Like the top speed of a car they are never going to drive, let alone own.
20.Men can balance an infinite amount of rubbish in the bin, without noticing it is full.
21.Only women can understand other women.
22.Women know when all you want is a glass of wine, nodding sympathy and a good whinge. Men offer a solution.
23.Woman have the diary gene. (And no, they do not make your bums look big).
24.Women are missing the parking a car in between two straight white lines in an empty car park gene
25.If you told a woman that you had just returned from a trip to the surface of the Moon, she would show her interest by asking who you had gone with.
26.Men do not even bother to look for something, then ask where it is and hope that it was the woman who put it away
27.When men want something they ask for it. When women want something they make a point distantly related to the subject and wait for a response.
28.Women have an ability to make men think they are in charge.
29.Men need a round of applause for emptying the dishwasher. Women think E on the petrol gauge means enough.
30.Men use I or me when they should use we or us. Women use we or us when they should use I or me.
31.Men have a gene which makes them blissfully unaware of impending emotional outbursts, but which sometimes backfires resulting in the registering of physical pain.
32.Women have the we must name our car gene.
33.Men refuse to pay more than rm5.00 for a hair cut as it is not that important.
34.Men have the capacity to sleep through most sounds, whether it is a baby crying, dog barking, or doorbell ringing.
35.Men know that common house spiders are far less dangerous than scorpions.
36.Women drive on the stretch of road they can see. Men move through the landscape by car.
37.Women enjoy planning a wedding.
38.Men have an anorak gene, which triggers a lecture on thermo dynamics when asked a simple question requiring a yes or no answer
39.Women eat curry if they like it. Men eat curry to prove they can.
40.Men manage to sit in public places with their legs wide open without noticing how startlingly unattractive it is and how they get in the way.
41.Women could never invent weapons that kill, only ones that make you feel really bad and guilty until you surrender
42.Women are the only ones with the noticing gene - we notice when something is dirty/nearly empty/out of place and then we bring into play the doing something about it now gene!
43.Men can watch an entire film without having to ask who is that, what does he do?
44.Women know what to do when someone starts to cry. Men tend to shuffle out of the room mumbling something about doing the grouting.
45.Girls cannot climb trees. Furthermore, they cannot be in mens' gang.
46.Men will do something and not think about the risks involved then be sorry after. Women will think about the risks involved before hand.
47.A man can choose and buy a pair of shoes in 90 seconds over the internet.
48.Men have the ability to make a la, la, la, not listening face.
49.Women pee together. Men do not acknowledge, let alone speak, to each other when peeing.
50.Men have the shed gene, where being locked up in a small wooden structure in quiet contemplation with a collection of garden equipment counts as stimulating entertainment.
51.Men can drive without having to look at themselves in the mirror.
52.Men have a gene which enables them to answer any question, no matter how complex or important, with Mmm.
53.Women make lists upon lists of things for men to do when they know very well we will never do them.
54.Women do not get turned on at the thought of two men together.
55.Men CAN get a bus through there!
56.Men can watch six different channels at the same time and know the name of none of the programmes they claim to be following
57.Men can write their names clearly in the snow.
58.Women can smell old trainers at 100ft, men have to hold them to their nose.
59.Men start a sentence and...
60.....women finish it for them
61.Men enjoy publicising their faults on BBC websites; women enjoy publicising men's faults on BBC websites.
62.Men have the empathy with computers gene. This means they are more likely to be found fiddling about with one rather than doing something useful.
63.Men are paid more for doing the same job. :-)
64.Women have the take things personally gene.
65.Women keep carrier bags hidden away in a cupboard. They even keep carrier bags within carrier bags.!
66.Women parallel process, men parallel park.
67.Men look at going down the gym as a physical activity, to women it is a social event.
68.A woman would look at a sexy man and not be noticed. Men just stare.
69.Women think that a good place to keep the TV controller is on top of the TV.
70.Men have a gene that enables them to maintain a vice like grip on the remote control while reclining on the sofa studying the insides of their eyelids.
71.Women can get by with 10 or 20 CDs. Men need 200 plus.
72.Women know that washing machines have programmes for every kind of fabric, colour and quantity and use them appropriately. Men will put a months supply of laundry through the 40 degree cycle (safest guess), regardless of any other detail.
73.Women order rice and eat men's chips.
74.Men will hear you open a beer from three rooms away.
75.Women recall every outfit they have worn for the past two decades. Men cannot remember what they were wearing yesterday without looking on the floor next to the bed.
76.If a man knows an acquaintance has given birth to a baby, he will remember the sex and name - if you are lucky. If a woman is told about a birth, she will remember names (first and middle), weight, time, how long the labour took and whether medical intervention was required.
77.Women have the ability to brain dump their entire day when they get home - men can only remember that it went OK
78.Men cannot watch sports and talk to their wives at the same time.

Lagu Tiga Kupang

2005-05-16T22:14:00.000+08:00

Games, changes and fears
When will they go from here
When will they stop
I believe that fate has brought us here
And we should be together, babe
But we're not
I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you
I'll keep my cool, but I'm fiendin'

I try to say goodbye and I choke
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
Goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near

I may appear to be free
But I'm just a prisoner of your love
And I may seem all right and smile when you leave
But my smiles are just a front
Just a front, hey
I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you
I'll keep my cool, but I'm fiendin'

I try to say goodbye and I choke
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
Goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
Here is my confession
May I be your possession
Boy, I need your touch
Your love kisses and such
With all my might I try
But this I can't deny
Deny

I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you
(but I'm dreaming of you babe)
I'll keep my cool, but I'm fiendin'

I try to say goodbye and I choke (yeah)
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not there
(when you are not near aahh)
Goodbye and I choke (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I try to walk away and I stumble (hey, hey, hey)
Though I try to hide it, it's clear (say it Lord)
My world crumbles when you are not near

Goodbye and I choke (I'm choking)
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
(when you are not there, yeah, yeah yeah)
Yeah, yeah..

Guess what song is this?
Me love it mucho! :)

Blessed From The Past

2005-05-13T23:38:00.000+08:00

Knock knock,
Who's there?
Elio ...
Elio who?
One who was blessed from the past .. :)

Short post

2005-05-12T17:33:00.000+08:00

Today is the end of my first end of posting for this final semester ... hurrraaahhh!!! Been thinking of going 'hola-hola' in Port Dickson with the rest of groupmates.. hehe! *macam dah abis final exam jek*

Anyway, i need a break. Seriously. Even if people think that .."ek eleh minah ni, posting paediatric pun nak kecoh .. busy la .. nak break la". But seriously, it's not like the old typical or classical type of paediatric posting. It's more towards an approach to your patient's disease, it's social implication, how it affects the child's growth, how can make the child back to his/her normal activities and grow up like other normal kid. I shall say, they're millenium kids. They've even over stepped their milestones. No need for you to wait for an 8 month old kid to stand up with support, the kid can even walk at his eight .. surprising heh? ye la, cepat berjalan, cepat membesar and banyak pulak songeh ... hehehe!!

With the presence of new local lecturer in spite of Indian lecturer in Paediatric department, i shall say that my group has learned alot from him. In a sense that, we had stop mug up everything from the book, we sat and started thinking about the patient's problem and approach it in practical manner. There's no need for us to be 'ulat buku'. I'm happy for that. If only this lecturer had make his presence earlier in Manipal life, we would have produced best doctors in future and there's no need for our seniors to be ashamed for being ex-Manipalites and been telling everyone they're UM student instead. I'm proud to be Manipalites .. hehe! :)

That's it. I'm going to watch Kingdom of Heaven tonite and weekly bowling session with the rest of 'em .. jom tengok movie!

should doctors cry?

2005-05-08T20:20:00.000+08:00

Empathy is a powerful communication skill that is often misunderstood and underused. Initially, empathy was referred to as "bedside manner"; now, however, authors and educators consider empathetic communication a teachable, learnable skill that has tangible benefits for both clinician and patient: Effective empathetic communication enhances the therapeutic effectiveness of the clinician-patient relationship. Appropriate use of empathy as a communication tool facilitates the clinical interview, increases the efficiency of gathering information, and honors the patient.

The origin of the word empathy dates back to the 1880s, when German psychologist Theodore Lipps coined the term "einfuhlung" (literally, "in-feeling") to describe the emotional appreciation of another's feelings. Empathy has further been described as the process of understanding a person's subjective experience by vicariously sharing that experience while maintaining an observant stance. Empathy is a balanced curiosity leading to a deeper understanding of another human being; stated another way, empathy is the capacity to understand another person's experience from within that person's frame of reference.

Even more simply stated, empathy is the ability to "put oneself in another's shoes."

Being a psychiatrist or mental health expert is not necessary for using empathetic communication; the only requirement is an awareness of opportunities for empathy as they arise during the interview with a patient. This type of opportunity arises from a patient's emotion (either directly expressed or implied): This emotion creates the opportunity for an empathetic response by the physician.

In fact, when opportunities for empathy are missed by physicians, patients tend to offer them again, sometimes repeatedly. This phenomenon can lead to longer, more frustrating interviews, return visits, and "doctor shopping" by patients who feel dismissed or alienated.

After an opportunity for empathy has been presented, the clinician should consider offering a gesture or statement of empathy. Statements that facilitate empathy have been categorized as queries, clarifications, and responses.Examples of each are as follows:

Queries
"Can you tell me more about that?"
"What has this been like for you?"
"How has all of this made you feel?"

Clarifications
"Let me see if I've gotten this right ..."
"Tell me more about ..."
"I want to make sure I understand what you've said ..."

Responses
"Sounds like you are ..."
"I imagine that must be ..."
"I can understand that must make you feel ..."

Ideally, after perceiving the clinician's statement of empathy, the patient expresses agreement or confirmation ("You got it, Doc!" or "Yeah, that's exactly how I feel"). When we have not understood the patient's experience exactly, we must allow the patient to correct our perception. Use of the Hypothesis-Test-Feedback Loop allows the patient to clarify his or her experience and thus allow the physician to restate an empathetic statement that originally missed its mark. The following exchange is an example of this Hypothesis-Test-Feedback Loop used in the doctor-patient encounter:

Patient: I am sick and tired of living with these headaches. No one has been able to help me, and none of the medications are working.

Doctor (stating the hypothesis): I can see that you are frustrated by the lack of improvement in your symptoms.

Patient (giving feedback): Yeah, but I'm really more worried that we're missing something serious. I've got a wife and kids who are depending on me.

Doctor (correcting the hypothesis): So, it sounds like you're really more concerned that something serious could be going on that is causing these headaches.

Patient (closing the empathy loop): Yes, exactly.

In this example, the physician makes an empathetic statement (hypothesis) about what he or she surmises is the chief aspect of the patient's experience: frustration about an unrelenting headache. When the hypothesis is tested, the patient clarifies that although frustrated, he is mainly experiencing worry about the situation. Armed with this feedback, the physician restates the hypothesis back to the patient, who lets the physician know that he or she "got it exactly right."

Despite some divergent opinion on the matter, we may propose a subtle but important distinction between empathy and sympathy.

Whereas empathy is used by skilled clinicians to enhance communication and delivery of care, sympathy can be burdensome and emotionally exhausting and can lead to burnout. Sympathy implies feeling shared with the sufferer as if the pain belonged to both persons: We sympathize with other human beings when we share and suffer with them. It would stand to reason, therefore, that completely shared suffering can never exist between physician and patient; otherwise, the physician would share the patient's plight and would therefore be unable to help.

Empathy is concerned with a much higher order of human relationship and understanding: engaged detachment. In empathy, we "borrow" another's feelings to observe, feel, and understand them--but not to take them onto ourselves. By being a participant-observer, we come to understand how the other person feels. An empathetic observer enters into the equation and then is removed.

These three emotions--Empathy, Sympathy, and Pity--can be summarized as follows:

Pity describes a relationship which separates physician and patient. Pity is often condescending and may entail feelings of contempt and rejection.

Sympathy is when the physician experiences feelings as if he or she were the sufferer. Sympathy is thus shared suffering.

Empathy is the feeling relationship in which the physician understands the patient's plight as if the physician were the patient. The physician identifies with the patient and at the same time maintains a distance. Empathetic communication enhances the therapeutic effectiveness of the clinician-patient relationship.

Read more here

I can't deny i've cried once..
Can't hide the feeling when looking at those sick patients, esp children ..
Is that a pity? or sympathy?
I shouldn't cry, should i?

how to mend a broken heart

2005-05-06T19:46:00.000+08:00

People may say no one ever died of a broken heart, but when you're suffering from one, it sure doesn't feel that way--at least initially. These suggestions may help you navigate the painfully troubled waters of a relationship that has ended.

Day 1

Steps:
1. Breathe. All you can do is survive this first and difficult day. Take one day at a time.

2. Give yourself permission to mourn. Call in sick at work, sleep all day, eat too much ice cream, sob.

3. Congratulate yourself for being human: It is only when you open yourself to love that your heart can break.

4. Develop and repeat a helpful mantra to get you through the initial shock and pain, such as "This too shall pass" or "I will survive."

Day 2

Steps:
1. Reach out to a close friend or family member. It helps to share your thoughts with others.

2. Watch a movie to distract yourself. Choose a comedy that has cheered you up in the past. Or watch a movie that's guaranteed to make you sob--it may surprise you how good that feels.

Week 1

Steps:
1. Force yourself to go out even if you are feeling despondent. Take yourself out for a cup of coffee or go on a long walk.

2. Express your emotions in a way that comes naturally. Write in a journal, paint, sculpt or play music.

3. Do daily cardiovascular exercise--the endorphins will give your spirits an immediate lift.

4. Resist the urge to call your ex. Instead, write a letter. Don't mail it.

5. Go out of town for the weekend to distance yourself from the temptation to call your ex. Visit an old friend or go back home to your roots. A change of environment does wonders for the spirit.

6. Put everything that reminds you of your ex in a box and seal it. Throw it away, donate it to charity or ask a friend to hold on to it indefinitely.

Week 2

Steps:
1. Surround yourself with friends. This may mean reaching out to people you fell out of touch with during the relationship.

2. Make lists to help you regain your confidence and identity: a list of your friends, of things you like, of what you want to accomplish in the next decade.

3. Spoil yourself: Get a new hairstyle, have a spa day or go shopping.

4. Resist the urge to call your ex.

Week 3

Steps:
1. Assess the experience. Have you learned anything about yourself? Does the experience make you more empathetic to others who've suffered a hardship?

2. Begin an activity that will fill your time, distract your mind and rebuild your confidence. Train for a marathon, take up yoga or learn a new language.

3. Resist the urge to call your ex.

4. Volunteer your time at a local homeless shelter, soup kitchen or tutoring center. It will take your mind off your own woes and keep your suffering in perspective.

Week 4

Steps:
1. Continue regular socializing and exercising. While socializing, though, make sure you don't depend on alcohol or drugs to dull the pain.

2. Call your ex if you feel it would be helpful. Resist if you merely want to say hurtful things.

3. Consider dating other people, but be wary of rebound relationships.

4. Understand that you will need to experience and process sadness, anger, guilt and fear to fully heal. Burying or ignoring these emotions will thwart the healing process. Write, cry, share the feelings with friends.

Months 3 to 6

Steps:
1. Force yourself to go on dates. You'll be surprised to discover that your heart can still flutter over someone. It's part of the healing process.

2. Consult a psychiatrist if you are experiencing symptoms of depression, such as lack of appetite, insomnia or too much sleeping, low self-esteem, and an inability to concentrate or carry out routine tasks. Ask a friend or physician to recommend one who is experienced in treating depression.

3. Remember that healing is a process that takes time. Expect waves of sadness, anger, guilt or fear even after you think you are over it. Give your heart time to heal.

One year and beyond

Steps:
1. Compartmentalize the experience in your memory: "My heart was broken once. It really hurt and I'm glad it's over."

2. Reach out to your ex if you want to re-establish a friendship. Do not harbor secret ambitions of winning him or her back. You'll only set yourself up for another heartbreak.

BY: doctor love ;p

Lazy post

2005-05-04T18:22:00.000+08:00

Character Manusia berdasarkan Kentutnya:

1. Orang TIDAK JUJUR
Orang yang kalau kentut lalu menyalahkan orang lain.

2. Orang GOBLOK
Orang yang menahan kentutnya sampai berjam-jam.

3. Orang BERWAWASAN LUAS
Orang yang tahu bila harus kentut.

4. Orang SENGSARA
Orang yang ingin kentut tapi tidak boleh kentut.

5. Orang MISTERIUS
Orang yang kalau kentut, orang lain tidak ada yang tahu.

6. Orang GUGUP
Orang yang tiba-tiba menahan kentutnya bila tiba masa nak kentut.

7. Orang yang PERCAYA DIRI SENDIRI
Orang yang selalu mengira kalau kentutnya bau harum.

8. Orang SADIS
Orang yang kalau kentut di ranjang terus dikibaskan baunya ke ranjang orang lain.

9. Orang PEMALU
Orang yang kalau kentut tidak bunyi tapi lalu merasa malu sendiri.

10. Orang yang STRATEGIK
Orang yang menyembunyikan kentutnya dengan tertawa terbahak-bahak biar orang
lain tak dengar.

So, which one are you? ;p

YOU

2005-05-03T22:55:00.000+08:00

To YOU,
Yeah, i'm your little angel,
And i came to you with your broken wings,
And i murmured, i sulked, and forgotten how to fly,
I came to you as an imperfect, a total dysfunctional angel,
It was then, it was when you're the devil urself and we saw the weaknesses in ourselves,
From then on, the devil taught his angel back to fly again,
And you taught me of how to be 'me', that's now who i am ..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY ..
GOD BLESS YOU, ALWAYS ..

*Yours truly*

p/s:
thanx for the early morning surprise ..
i love those cute balloons u've stuffed behind my car backseat .. kawaii!!
love u mucho! muaks! ;)

when love hurts - part 2

2005-04-28T17:15:00.000+08:00

Thinking about breaking up

Breaking up can be a very difficult decision. Sometimes people say "why don't you just break up with them?", but often they don't understand how hard it can be to leave. You may be reluctant to break up, for lots of different reasons like:

you love your boyfriend/girlfriend because they are still good to you sometimes
you hope they will change
you are scared to leave them because of what they could do
all your friends have boyfriends / girlfriends and you'd feel left out or alone without them
you feel worthless without them
he/she says he/she loves you
you feel you can't avoid them because they are at the same school or have the same friends.

It can be really hard to break up, especially if you still love them or if they say they love you. But if someone is treating you badly, this is not showing you love or respect. This kind of treatment can be very damaging for your self confidence. You deserve to have someone who says they love you and shows you that they love you by always treating you with respect.

Your boyfriend/girlfriend may really try to pressure you if you try to break up. If they think you will leave them, they might improve their treatment of you for a while but then go back to their old behaviour later, when they feel in control again. This is a common pattern in abusive relationships. Be suspicious if they promise to change when you leave or threaten to leave. If they haven't respected your rights in the relationship so far, then how likely is it that they will change their attitude now?

The abuse and violence probably won't just go away - in fact, usually people say it gets worse over time. Some have found that the abuse increased when they have tried to break up. Think carefully about your physical safety - if you are afraid of your boyfriend/girlfriend, take these feelings seriously because you could be in real danger.

It's your decision. If you do decide to continue being in the relationship, or if you decide to split up with them, think of ways to protect yourself from any more violence or abuse.Think about your reasons for staying and leaving, and about how the abuse may be affecting you. How would your life be if you didn't have to put up with abuse?

Love hurts, Love scars, Love wounds and mars
Any heart not tough or strong enough
To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain
Love is like a cloud, it holds a lot of rain
Love hurts ...

I'm young, I know, But even so
I know a thing or two - I learned from you
I really learned a lot, really learned a lot
Love is like a flame It burns you when it's hot

Some fools think of happiness, blissfulness, togetherness
Some fools fool themselves, I guess
They're not foolin' me
I know it isn't true I know it isn't true
Love is just a lie made to make you blue
Love hurts ...

when love hurts

2005-04-23T13:30:00.000+08:00

Being in love is supposed to feel great ..
But sometimes it just feels confusing ..
You might be confused about whether what's happening to you is abuse. This info helps you understand the different kinds of abuse.

Abuse or violence in a relationship is about a pattern of behaviour that one person uses against another to intimidate them and to get them to do what they want. Abuse is not just physical violence. Emotional or sexual abuse can be just as harmful as physical violence.

Research shows that in relationships, males are most likely to be the abusers, and females are most likely to be the victims.Females can also be abusive, in lesbian and in straight relationships.

Examples of these forms of abuse are:

Emotional abuse
This is when your boyfriend or girlfriend puts you down, ignores you or calls you names. It may be about what you are wearing, or how you're acting. They may want you to stop spending time with your friends and question you on every detail of what you've done without them. They may use jealousy or anger to intimidate you or to control your behaviour, or might deliberately humiliate you in front of others. They might try to manipulate you and make you feel wrong, inadequate or like you're crazy. Another form of emotional abuse is if they threaten to hurt themselves or other people if you break up with them. Emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse.

Physical abuse
This involves physical acts such as hitting, slapping, pushing, kicking, pulling your hair or choking you, or threatening to harm you in any way. It could involve using a weapon or an object to threaten or hurt you, smashing things or driving a car dangerously to frighten you. Hurting someone physically or threatening to hurt them is a criminal offence.

Sexual abuse
This involves pressuring or forcing you to do sexual things that you don't want to do. Even if they have not physically forced you to have sex with them, if they tried to manipulate you or coerce you into having sex when you didn't want to (like if they say 'you'd do it if you really loved me' or 'you're frigid'), this is still sexual abuse. It is also sexual assault if you have been drinking or taking drugs or if you were asleep or unconscious and you were not aware of what was happening. Rape and other forms of sexual assault are criminal offences.

What's Love got to do with it?
It can be hard to see whether your boyfriend / girlfriend's behaviour is actually abusive, or it can be hard to find a word for it. They might try to convince you that their jealous and possessive behaviour is because they love you. But this kind of treatment isn't love; it's control.

Jealousy - Is this love?
Jealousy might seem like a sign of love. But when someone uses anger or jealousy to try to control what you do, or acts like they 'own' you, this isn't love - it's control. You've got every right to talk to anyone you want to.

Your rights in a relationship:
If you are in a relationship, you must be treated with respect, which means your boyfriend or girlfriend:

is willing to compromise
lets you feel comfortable being yourself
is able to admit to being wrong
tries to resolve conflict by talking honestly
enables you to feel safe being with them
respects your feelings, your opinions and your friends
accepts you saying no to things you don't want to do (like sex)
accepts you changing your mind
respects your wishes if you want to end the relationship

When someone loves you, you feel valued, respected and free to be yourself. You shouldn't be made to feel intimidated or controlled.

Think about your relationship - do you feel respected?

don't be so narrow-minded. the advertisement stays

2005-04-19T13:07:00.000+08:00

Wonder how this Dungu Datuk became Ahli Dewan Rakyat !?!?
Just for one advertisement, race issues was brought up...maybe he can suggest which race should be in the advertisement ? Or, there got to be 3 race in the advertisement ?

This shows how narrow minded this people are!! ..and Kudos to our Deputy Information Minister Datuk Zainuddin Maidin ...this is the kind of people we need to represent the Rakyat ( not just Malay, Chinese or Indian)

This is the Information Ministry's response to several MPs who called on the Ministry to withdraw a television advertisement which featured an ill-mannered Malay man onboard a light-rail transit (LRT) train.

The call to withdraw the advertisement was made in the Dewan Rakyat by Datuk Rosli Mat Hassan (BN-Dungu), who said it did not truly reflect the identity and culture of the Malays who live by the principles of courtesy and politeness.

"The man is wearing a tie, hinting that he is educated and works as an executive. Do we want this negative image for our community?" he said.

"I want the Ministry concerned to pull out the advertisement by tonight or tomorrow."

His statement was supported by Mohd Alwi Che Ahmad (BN-Ketereh), who questioned why a Malay man was portrayed as the ill-mannered protagonist.

"I am not trying to be racial, but the advertisement is at odds with the Malay culture, which upholds courtesy. Why portray only a young Malay man as ill-bred?" he said.

When contacted yesterday, Deputy Information Minister Datuk Zainuddin Maidin said: "The advertisement has nothing to do with racial bias. It merely highlights our society’s flaws, some of which we fail to acknowledge.

"Race has nothing to do with it," he told The Malay Mail.

He also questioned the Dungun BN representative’s powers of observation, as the blind man who eventually helps the young man pick up his fallen packet of biscuits is also a Malay.

"It simply underlines the fact that regardless of race, there are courteous and caring people as well as ill-mannered ones.

"One should not be narrow-minded but instead, look at things in a bigger perspective," he said.

He added that the advertisement will not be withdrawn.

"We see nothing wrong with the advertisement's contents and thus, it will stay.

"In fact, I was informed that the advertisement elicited positive response from the public. There are plans to produce similar ones in the future," he said.

source: www.usj.com.my
credits to: mr. almighty

Ape la .. pasal iklan tata-susila tu pun nak kecoh ..
Banyak mende lain bley komen kart Dewan Rakyat .. pasal dadah ke, mat rempit ke .. kalu argue pasal gaji doktor kart gomen sepital yang sikit tu pun lagik bagus ..
The issue of racism is ridiculous ..
Ape plak kecoh pasal mamat Melayu tak sopan tu .. mmg betul hape mamat Melayu skarang agak kureng .. tapi tak semua yg teruk .. banyak yang lagik bagus, bersopan santun hape .. this ad represents not only the Malays, but groups of Malaysian whom has lost their tatasusila which we has failed to acknowledge ..
The advertisement potrays part of Malaysians with such behaviour, never had ocurred in my mind that it will become racism issue ..
Like mr almighty has said, this bunch of jokers are wasting people's money by debating non sense in Parliament .. it's like a 1st class country with 3rd class jokers representing the people ..

For u guys information, this Malay guys whom acted in the ad kena maki hamun, has been thrown stuffs, kena tampar ngan makcik pun ada kart public since the ad shown on air .. kesian dia ..

I'm sorry to say here .. bukan nak mengutuk bangsa sendiri .. but i think it's time for us, the Malays keluar dari tempurung sendiri.

Memang betul kata Hang Tuah, "Melayu takkan hilang di dunia" tapi lagi betul kata Dr. Mahathir, "Sampai bila pun Melayu takkan maju kalau berfikiran sempit"

Take the moral value of this ad instead of fully critisizing it ..

Chiao!

better than none

2005-04-17T22:21:00.000+08:00

I know i'm just too busy lately ..
Being the last semester stu going for the most important event in life (THE FINAL EXAMS!!) is not that easy, u see ..
As predicted, our final exam which is supposed to be scheduled in November has been postponed to February, 2006 .. i thank God for that since myself is NOT really ready to face a reality upgrading myself from medical student to a real DOCTOR.

However, this doesnt mean that i have to neglect my weekends .. huhu!! ;p

Malacca celebrated her 2nd anniversary as Malaysia's historical state last Thursday. I took the chance to go back to Ampang with intention to meet HIM since we're not seeing each other for months .. he's busy and i'm busy too .. that's acceptable ..

But i only had chance to meet him on Sunday since he's busy with his final semester project, a so-called "Taman Mini Best", dealing with humidity, plantation and stuff. He explained few times and i even get more confused with his project. Miss him so much though but wut to do?

My weekend is more like "chilling out with my lil sister". We spent two days doing shopping and of course, swimming in the evening as part of our diet programme. Yip called a day earlier, asking me and J to join him for treasure hunt organized by his gf's company. I really wanted to but J busy with his project. I became Yip's tekateki-solver instead, communicating via sms. Let's see whether u guys can solve this one ..

Watak P. Ramlee ini masyur dgn kata-kata ajaib,
Laung saja 'zam-zam ala kazam', pastinya ghaib,
Namun pemegang watak, akhirnya selesai,
janganlah pening, janganlah bimbang,
kalau tak tau, tanyalah pak belalang,
Jawab nya senang, di depan dan di belakang,
Bawakan harta dicari, kalau nak menang.

Any idea what it is?

Yosh!

2005-04-11T17:56:00.000+08:00

Heya everyone .. nice day, huh? ;p
Ay, holidays ... eventho it was just for 2 weeks time, i enjoyed it much .. as said, holidays is when u utilized ur precious time with everything u wanted and desperately hoping to do .. but sometimes, it can just be bored as ever .. 'm i rite?
It has been awhile since my last trip back to my hometown .. 6 months, whut do ya expect?

I shall say my trip back to Kedah this time was quite dramatic. Right after my last Orthopaedic paper, me and Mel rushed back to KL, leaving our room totally messed up
---> "sarang buaya" huhu! Spent 2 days in KL, trying to convince my Dad that i can drive alone back to Alor Setar. I know he would never let me do so since he still thinks that i'm not independant enough compared to my younger sister. This is something to be ashamed of. A 25 year old whose born to be shorter than any other of her age and appeared to be weak although she thinks she's tougher than anyone else could. I think i need to show him that i'm well independant by driving back alone without him knowing next time.

Somehow, my Dad was right. I saw lotsa accident happened during my trip back to Kedah via bus. One of it happened rite in front of my eyes and other passenger in the bus. About 30km before we passed through Ipoh, there was a bus which speeds more than 100km/hr took over the bus i'm in before crushing the car in front, hit the divider and landed on the opposite road. What i saw was the bus driver was thrown outta bus windscreen and the bus landed on him after crushing the divider. The bus i was in took an emergency break since the car that was hit by that bus was spinning around in front of us. Everyone screamed. Lucky us, we're totally safe. But sadly, our bus driver refused to stop and help those victims although we insisted to. I think he was in shocked too. Alhamdulillah, i reached Kedah safely without knowing what had happened to those victims especially the four passengers in the car until the next day when i read the news about the tragedy. All of them were seriously injured except for the bus driver who died at the scene. Scary, huh?

I was in shocked as i witnessed everthing rite in front of my eyes. But it doesnt really affect my holiday mood. Again, my parents complained about me losing so much of weight where they claimed i looked like a dead zombie sometimes. My thin appearance has 'inspired' my mum to stuffed me with foods.. hehe! My mum who hardly cook since she's a busy woman, made her delicious fried rice.

My two younger brothers who has just started schooling seemed to enjoy their early education much. What surprises me, they has stopped asking for toys each time my family went out to shopping complex. They asked for books, instead. One of my brother, Daniel, loves learning Mandarin. From what his teacher has informed my mum, he can speak and write the language well compared to other non-Chinese kiddos. Being in Chinese-based education school, he was stuffed with lotsa homeworks to be completed before the next class started. But he never complained. I'm impressed to see him being so hardworking although he's just 7 year old. All i can remember when i was at his age is that i played and slept most of the time.. ^_^

Geez, i'm having thought block ere. There's so much i wanted to share ere but my mind is just too blank right now.. later ...

Let's learn Urdu

2005-03-14T23:27:00.000+08:00

My last six months in India when i was in my 3rd year was among the happiest moment in my life as Manipal student. It was when we first entered hospitals for clinical practice after 2 years struggling with terminologies and physiologies learned theoritically without applying it in terms of skills .. it was also when we had chances to see all those weird cases that im so damn sure you couldn't really find it in Malaysia because of the rare incidence ere .. for example: how many times u get chances to see patient with Hansen's disease (a.k.a Leprosy) or well-known as KUSTA? - the answer will be NONE rite? huhu ... Manipal students will be happily seeing those patients which usually occupies almost 30 beds in a ward .. see?? ;p *poyo nye aku*

Whatever ..

The most memorable part was when some of us bought a so-called dwi-language dictionary just to help us communicating with the local people better. You see, eventhough not all South Indian people can speak English well, but most Manipal locals (we called 'em "tempe" = tempatan) can communicate English well.. even "otto" driver, i tell you .. (otto = a 3 wheel taxi which known as tut-tut among Siamese)

For example:
Locals--> Where going Boss?
English --> Where do you want to go?

Locals--> Me sweeping sweeping, rubbish coming coming no ..
English--> This place is still dirty eventhough ive swept the floor ..

Haha! Tak kisah la ... janji kitorang paham ..

Ay, don't think Indians speak only Tamils and Hindustani ..
For South Indians, especially Manipalites, they have their own mother tongue which is known as URDU ..
Ive learnt few terms from the language before i left India, just to help me communicate with the local patients there. It does sounds funny but i found it cute .. i mean, especially when we tried to pronounced some of those words.

What's your name? - nimme hesaru yenu?
What's your age? - vayasu? praya yestu?
Where do you live? - mane yelli? viyasa yenu?
How does the symptom started? - mella mella?
Is it intermittent? - bittu bittu?

Ok, that's how we try to approach local patients. They're rather cooperative than laughing at us 'terkulat-kulat' trying to pronounce those words.

Now, let's learn some of medical terms in Urdu..

Pregnancy - garbini
Menstruation - muttu
Constipation - mala thontare
Itching - thurike
Diarrhoea - bedi
Pain - novu
Palpitation - daba daba
Swelling - bavu
Baby - magu

See how simple their language are?
I can tell you English is rather hard to learn than Urdu .. ;p

Ok boss .. me going going sleeping .. haha!!

guilty

2005-03-11T13:45:00.000+08:00

Early this morning, i woke up having thoughts of how guilty i am for not be going to my best fren's engagement which will be held this coming Sunday in JB. It's all about exams.. huh, sometimes, i hardly can't understand why our college system have to put exam's schedule at wrong timing. Last uni exam, it was when my fav Incubus came for their 1st tour concert in Malaysia. It was also last year, where ive missed Linkin Park's concert because of mid-semester exam. It was again last year, where ive missed most of my old skool fren's wedding. And this time, it's going to be Ila's engagement .. she purposely chose this coming Sunday for her engagement since ive told her few months ago that i'll be free at the time. But then, our college have postponed the exam which is supposed to this early month to middle of March. Sadly, the first thing Ila ever said to me was .. "it's ok la Elia, i can understand how busy u are" .. she seemed don't mind at all. But for me, i have this biggest GUILT feeling inside .. moreover, there'll be a so-called gathering for my ex-Sunway College mates on her engagement day. I really wanted to go but i just cant .. Damn!

Eversince this biggest guilt came roaming inside me, ive make few decisions .. first thing first is NOT TO MAKE ANY PROMISES .. for someone like me, promises is something ive pointed out as part of my life principle. Well, i dun really have my own principles .. but breaking promises will be among my biggest guilt. Ive made a mistake few years back, where ive promised someone that i wunt break his trust .. Ive failed .. I can still remember his frustrated look since he has put all his trust in me .. i can remember until now .. it made me feel so guilty .. so fcuking guilty .. but then, i was forgiven with another chance .. i damn sure i wont lost his trust again ...

Ayy .... guilty nyeeerrrr!!!

Congratulations for your engagement girl .. i'm so so sorry i cant make it this time ..
Hope ur happy .. Love ya! *hugs and kisses*

2005-03-09T17:23:00.000+08:00

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and
noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes
to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and
jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under
Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable
programs, such as Romance 9.9 installed undesirable programs
such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs
and Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried
running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

Dear Desperate,

Keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package,
while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Try to enter the command: C:/ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and
install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run
these applications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0. But remember,
overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence
2.5, Happyhour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad
program that will create "Snoring Loudly" wave files. DO NOT
install MotherInLaw 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend
program. These are not supported applications and will crash
Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but
it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications
quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve
performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0 and Lingerie
5.3.

Tech Support

takde keje

2005-03-06T00:19:00.000+08:00

heya .. im freaking busy lately, as usual.title above has nothing to do with my hectic zombie-like life. exam's coming, 2 weeks from now. Ive started myself panicking as always cos there's so mucha stuff to revise. heh .. enuff with exams ..

i miss blogging, dat's why i'm ere now ..

i'm getting bald .. dat's the only thing i can think of now. it's getting worse, u see .. the hair loss .. demit! why ar?? I used to have a messy wavy thick hair - even my sis told me i look like "Timah Gila" (our neighbour whose schizophrenic) everytime i woke up from sleep. Now? -BALD-

u see, ive always wanted to keep my hair as long as i could but it always ended up in 'tragic' way. i can remember the last time when i had kept my hair for more than 2 years without getting it cut except for trimming, it ended when i cut it short after 2 months of hair perming .. u see, it's not that easy to care for permed hair, especially when u have to make it look dryless as u can .. susah wei .. cerewet .. permed hair had caused severe damage to my hair till it does look like a curly penyapu .. ok, to tell the truth, it's kinna cool to perm my hair and make it dreadlock type especially when i tied it high up .. but, worse is still worse .. hair treatment doesnt help anyway ..

elia - 2003

I made it short after 2 months being miss curly-hair ..
Again, this 'degil' hair of mine doesnt seem to suit me well. I havta put on gel everytime to make it manageable .. ayy ..

elia - 2004

'Hosdoh' benar .. huhu!!

Ive successfully let it grow for few months until recently when i realized my hair strands were everywhere: in the bathroom,on the room floor, stucked in between hair brush, on my study table, even on my laptop ..
Is this part of medical student syndrome? Nah, i dun think so .. study too much doesnt make ur hair falls that much. This has got to do with getting infected by fungus spread by my cat ..

See? This happened when i finger-combed my hair .. banyak nyer!!

elia - 2005

I havta tie my hair up to make it doesn't look hairless in between the scalp .. memalukan ..

This 75ml antifungal shampoo costs me almost rm100

What should i do?
Should i just go to Yum Nam Hair Care?
Or cut my hair freaking short again?
Or be bald?
Phew!!

Feel Your Breeze

2005-03-01T11:16:00.000+08:00

I spent hours at Kotaraya just to found out that this drama has changed it's title to Ne Jiao Fu.. no wonder la .. haha .. ive been asking the salesgirl about Gokusen but all of 'em seemed to not knowing about it. Tak kisah la .. dapat beli this drama sudah .. huhu!! It's worth to be watched.

If you have heard of the drama, anime, and manga 'GTO' you may think the plot of Gokusen sounds a little familiar. But believe me, Gokusen has enough wit and charm and humor to make it a great series in its own right, despite the obvious comparisons to GTO.

It is the story of young high school teacher YAMAGUCHI Kumiko. At the beginning of the series, she is 23 years old, and fresh out of school. She has just accepted her first real teaching position as a math instructor at an all-boys high school. Kumiko is very cute in an awkward, quirky way. Her clothing is unfashionable, and she wears her long hair in two ponytails that make her look younger than she is. Her glasses add to the geeky effect. Her attitude is optimistic and almost naive. She wants to be a great teacher, and she believes in her students.

Kumiko's first class does not share in her dorky cheerfulness and optimism. They are a class of juvenile deliquents with multicolored hair, sloppy uniforms, and rough attitudes. They are lead by SAWADA Shin, their class leader who has a habit of being lazy in class. In the drama, her class is 3rd year, class D. The boys in 3-D are not thrilled to have such a lame looking teacher like Yamaguchi-sensei, so of course they try to bully her and force her to quit. Their attempts do not get them far.

What the class of 3-D does not know is that YAMAGUCHI Kumiko is a lot tougher than she looks. In fact, she has a secret life outside of the classroom that she goes to great pains to conceal from her students and coworkers. Kumiko is not your average shy geek. She is, in fact, the 4th generation heir to an infamous and powerful Tokyo Yakuza group! 7 years ago, Kumiko's parents passed away, and Kumiko was sent to live with her grandfather, the leader of the Yakuza group. Living with them has shaped Kumiko's personality in strange ways. When flustered or angry, she will switch from normal speech patterns, to the rough, crude slang speech of the Yakuza. She is also an excellent fighter, and can easily defeat a group of attackers.

With a background like that, why become a teacher? Well, Kumiko's parents had left the Yakuza family, and were trying to go straight. When they passed away, Kumiko was sent to live with the Yakuza. Her Yakuza family and friends support her in her decision and do what they can (in their own warped way) to help her out.

The series focuses on Kumiko's attempts at earning the trust and respect of her students and helping them become better people, beating up badguys, imparting life lessons (through inspirational speeches ^_^;) and occasionally teaching math. And through all this, she must keep her unusual background a secret. If the school were to find out, she would be fired. There is, of course, a little romance going on, as Kumiko falls for someone very unsuitable for her, and a few people also fall for her.

Gokusen has action, mystery, comedy, and some romance, and is a lot of fun to watch! I really hope they make an anime of this too...

Good Friday

2005-02-25T11:40:00.000+08:00

Good day everyone :p

As said, i'm in good mood today .. ive missed today's posting and just woke up facing my lappie *laptop* with smile .. huhu!! gasak la ..

Last night was my 3rd day of posting. I told u before that we need this 'bodek-ing' power to get wut we want to learn. I did use my 'bodek-ing' skill last nite .. huhu!! and guess wut?? For the time in my life, ive assisted a delivery !! Omedetou to me .. yay!!

U see ..it's not easy to deliver a baby *as wut ive observed from those mothers at their highest anxiety* and it's not that easy to assist the delivery too. But it's the satisfaction i had when ive successfully helped the mother deliver the baby. Her expression when she saw her baby seemed so peaceful to us there. That's her first baby anyway ..

Enuff with babies .. hehe!

Before waiting for other deliveries, five of us sat around and discussing about Da Vincci's Code, current bestseller controversial novel available. Of course some of my Christian friends are against the book since the author wrote his interpetation about what lies beneath The Last Supper drawing .. the one drawn by Da Vinci just before Jesus was crucified. I myself dont want to comment about it since ive never read bibles or seen the potrait before. But this novel makes me wanna fly to Venice and look for Monalisa's potrait cos it's said by the author as a female resemblance of Da Vinci himself .. isn't it ironic?? ayy ..

I'm going back to Ampang tomorrow. I'll go to Kotaraya soon as i reach Pudu to find nice Japanese doramas to watch. I need to the 3rd Series of The Unfortunate Event too.Ayy, this is the only book that's so hard to find. Havta compete with other kiddos to get one. Huhu!! U see, it's worth to read eventho it's just children's book.

Enjoy ur weekend guys! :)

Medical School Nerd Scale

2005-02-24T12:37:00.000+08:00

The following scale has been developed in close cooperation with the UVA psychiatry services (Well at least I was thinking of some of their characteristics and used some of their classtime to compose it). It is designed to test if you have spent too much time in medical school and whether you are having adverse side effects due to prolonged exposure.

Score one point for each statement that applies to you.

1 You have ever said "Netter is god".
2 You can discuss autopsy/ anatomy over a meal
3 You own a 4 color pen
4 -it just isn't enough colors for you
5 You use more than one color to take notes
6 You have use up more than 6 highlighters in the past 6 months
7 you have ever highlighted something YOU wrote
8 you retype handouts given in class
9 you haven't had a date in 3 months
10 you haven't had a date since entering med school
11 you have not been able to remember the normal term for something because you were thinking of the medical term (iereflux for heartburn)
12 You get more sleep in lecture than at home
13 You know the correct spelling for pruritus
14 - you also know what it means
15 You have ever asked a question in class
16 - The prof. didn't understand the question
17 - you didn't believe the answer the prof. gave
18 - you went to look it up to see if they were right
19 You can't hold a conversation on anything other than med school
20 You skip class to study
21 You've said you didn't do well on a test on which you beat the mean
22 You spend more than 15 hrs a week on e-mail
23 You have a callous on you finger from writing
24 More than one professor knows you by name
25 When you ask a question, a new professor has said "Oh, I've heard of you"
26 You can name more amino acids than past presidents
27 You use more than 5 acronyms an hour when talking
28 you actually know what PERRLA stands for
29 You know all the steps of the TCA cycle
30 You do not read PTA as parent teachers association
31 You can remember the muscles in the forearm
32 You know the strucures in the urea cycle
33 You know the dermatome distribution
34 You can't remember what you had for breakfast
35 You can't spell world, much less backwards
36 You've ever been sexually aroused by the breast shadow on an
X ray
37 You equate "morning stiffness" with Rhematoid Arthritis
38 You actually know normal values for plasma Na
39 -K
40 Missing class causes you extreme stress
41 You have seriously asked someone "So how does that make you feel?"
42 You have asked will this be on the exam
43 -Just after the prof. said it wouldn't
44 You identify with Deb on E.R.
45 You have made a medical joke
46 -no one laughed
47 -You figure they just weren't that far in their studying
48 You wear your stethescope around your neck on the bus
49 - you don't even know which way the thing goes in your ears
50 "SOB" means short of breath to you
51 You have gone to student health with suspicion of a disease you have studied
52 -within 3 days of the lecture
53 You have answered a question in class
54 -asked by the professor
55 -it was a rhetorical question
56 You can quote lines from the movie "Malice"
57 -you believe them
58 You can flip your pen over your thumb
59 - with both hands
60 - you do so throughout class
61 You have corrected a professor in class
62 -the rest of the class didn't understand the lecture tobegin with
63 You know how to calculate specificity
64 -positive predictive value
65 - anion gap
66 -you can't balance your checkbook
67 You don't know what the weather was like for the past week
68 You don't know what the weather is like right now
69 You actually talk in open ended questions
70 DIC isn't a slang term for the penis in your book
71 You think B- is a bad grade
72 you have stressed about a pass/fail class
73 You study during most of your meals
74 You saw nothing abnormal about the Obsessive-CompulsiveDisorder
75 You draw all of the slides not already provided in the handouts
76 -including the cartoons (humourous type)
77 Anatomy makes you hungry
78 You would even consider saying "Ease back on my finger at your own pace"
79 You know the size of a RBC
80 - you don't know the size of a football field

81 Your eyesight has worsened by 10 pts or more in the last year
82 You have the library hours memorized
83 Hou have your own seat in the library
84 You score more than 95 on the Epidemiology final
85 You own more than one white coat
86 You have debated between giving up sleep or eating in order to find more time to study
87 You started studying for boards more than 2 months in advance
88 You have never received a personal invitation to discuss your grades with the dean
89 A tie is the only addition necessary to what you normally wear when you go to see patients
90 You wear scrubs to tests
91 You have made plans to study on a beach during vacation
92 - you actually did
93 You have a designated seat in lecture
94 - You have ever asked someone to move from "your seat"
95 You sleep less than 4 hrs a night
96 -you think that is plenty
97 -you have thought about cutting back
98 You study more than 35 hrs outsid of class
99 -you think you are a slackard
100 You think everyone answers yes to most of these questions

Scale
<20 - You're not in Med school. Go back to your party and leave us alone. We have work to do.
20-35 Either Med school is a breeze or you like the sound of "Senor doctor"
35-45 Gotta love that Primary Care
45-60 Well, I never really thought about MD/Phd, but now that you mention it...
60-75 Your social life is shot, might as well try to earn lots of money
75-90 Which surgery subspecialty did you say you liked?
90 All hail, great Med School Nerd master.

2005-02-22T19:08:00.000+08:00

Kurong Batang .. one of the weirdest name of a place ive ever seen ..
I found it during my short trip to Perlis last CNY ..
There's alot more actually .. especially in Perlis ..
Must be those Siamese who named the places ages ago .. they should referred to Malay dictionary first before declaring any of those names .. haha!!
Hey lookie .. there's Batu Pahat too .. ;p

doink

2005-02-21T17:27:00.000+08:00

The title above has nothing to do with this post .. huhu!! ;p
well, hi .. im busy as always .. especially with the coming sessional exams and night "tiring" posting ..

Night posting .. it's when medical students havta be a so called 'tunggul' in the delivery room and watch few deliveries .. well, actually u can help the nurses with the deliveries abit la, but it depends on how nice the nurses are .. to make it short,'bodek-ing' nurses is a must! haha!! the more pembodek ur, the more things u can learn from them. To learn, i havta be pembodek too .. but i dint get to learn much since there's only few deliveries at night. Rugi laa .. cos this is the only chance where u can learn conducting deliveries. U actually have loads of chances when uve become a houseofficer later but i prefer to start learning it from now as part of preparation to be a 'walking zombie' houseofficer.We're not like other medical students in local universities where they're expected to deliver at least 10 babies before they can graduate as a doctor. I think what MMMC college should do is to make that policies too so that the nurses have no choice but to let us help them conducting deliveries without having us to 'bodek' them first. Dont u Manipal peeps think so??

As for my experiences observing deliveries,what have been said was true.Indians have very low threshold in accepting pain compared to other races.They sometimes scream, yell and wutever they havta do with the pain. Ive seen one case where this Indian denied vaginal deliveries and keep on asking the doctors to let her deliver via Caesarean section. Of course the doctor wont let her since she's had two previous C- sections before. Why? Im not trying to scare anyone here cos everybody have their choices to what type of deliveries they prefer but C-section has more complications than the normal vaginal delivery. One of it is risk of having rupture of uterus in your next pregnancies. There must be a reason why God had made such anatomical passage for women to deliver their babies, rite?

Ayy, Im talking as if im the obstetrician. Hehe! *doink*

Been spending the rest of my last weekend lazying in my room and watch Japanese dorama - Waterboys. The best thing about watching Jdorama is when u get to see all those 'pretty' Japanese actors. Huhu!! I did watched Constantine for the second time too since it was too confusing for me for the first time viewing. As for curiosity,i made few netsurfings and made some inputs to make me understand the story before watching it for the second time. For me,the most unacceptable part is when Lucifer managed to cure Constantine's lung cancer. If only he's exist visibly in this world, all doctors will havta 'angkat bungkus' la .. haha!!

Owh yeah, i might be abit far behind in rock genre music and stuff but i found that Yeah Yeah Yeahs group is worth to be listen when i first downloaded their mp3 via Bittorrent. After all, Kent is still the best. :)

Heh, i think i smell something stingy from outside. Someone's doing the fogging. There must be dengue cases around the area, i guess ..

Till then ...

kiddos

2005-02-18T16:20:00.000+08:00

To be honest, although im still far from my journey towards marriage, i'm just like other girls who dreamnt about what sort of kids they would love to have in the future .. trust me .. i don't like Lynette's kids *those in Desperate Housewives*. They're just as naughty and irritable as ever. Lynette's kiddos - around 5-7yrs old, a pair of twin boys and their younger bro; stole flower pots from neighbour's backyard for their mother's day's gift,throws stuff everywhere around the house, again, steal neighbour's pink clock, yada yada ... I'm not surprise if Lynette had intentions to shot herself right through her head. She even took pills for hyperkinetic children to make herself hyperkinetic too .. If ur Lynette, do u ever wish to punish them? if so, what kind of punishment is appropriate for ur kids? Seriously, i hate when parents used belts or sticks or whatever it is as part of punishment .. but different parents have different kinda ways to raise their kids, righty?

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next Twenty-four years telling them to sit down and shut up!

can u imagine he can even scribble on his bro's face?

or even explore ur stuffed fridge?

your kid dont even bother if u bathe him in your kitchen sink .. ;p

dare to 'mafia-ing' ur kid?

or let him ride on his own motorbike and get sued?

Que Sera Sera,
Whatever they be,will be,
Their futures in your eyes to see,
Que Sera Sera ... :)

Lickety,Splickety and Old Tom Cat

2005-02-15T16:26:00.000+08:00

Lickety, splickety, very pernickety
Mrs. O'Connolly hustles along on herRickety bicycle, cold as an icicle,
Treadalling pedalling meddling on!
And the oldtom catstretches slowly by the fire.
What can the matter be, Mrs. O'RaffertyFalling all over herself in her worry to
Get to the baker and pick out a cake for a
Jolly-good-gobble-it-down-in-a-hurry!
And the old tom catpads slowlyup the stairs.
Oh what calamity, Mrs. O'Flamity
Falls out the window on top of a barrow -it tumbles and jumbles up Mrs. O'Connolly -Mrs. O'Rafferty slips down a narrow Gap down by the gutter and falls in a pothole.
Oh mercy!
The poor silly thing is in agony!
Mrs. O'Connolly's under a jag! Any witnesses please to the dreadful calamity
Come to the Polis and please bring a bottle!
And the oldtom catrolls over, smiles, and sleeps.

These are me cat collections ... there's more actually ..
Nothing much to say ... me truly a cat lover .. :)

pussy wussy lion cut cat... trust me .. this one isnt mine .. hehe!!

Me vewwy vewwy much busy right now ..
Will be updating me bloggie whenever me free ..
Cheerio fwens!

Not like it used to be - A Story Behind Valentine's Day

2005-02-14T17:19:00.000+08:00

For those who blindly celebrated the day ...

February 14 is Valentine's Day. Although it is celebrated as a lovers' holiday today, with the giving of candy, flowers, or other gifts between couples in love, it originated in 5th Century Rome as a tribute to St. Valentine, a Catholic bishop.

For eight hundred years prior to the establishment of Valentine's Day, the Romans had practiced a pagan celebration in mid-February commemorating young men's rite of passage to the god Lupercus. The celebration featured a lottery in which young men would draw the names of teenage girls from a box. The girl assigned to each young man in that manner would be his sexual companion during the remaining year. <--- TERUK NYE!!!! WOMEN ARE USELESS CREATURES IN THOSE DAYS. SUCKETY SUCK!!!
In an effort to do away with the pagan festival, Pope Gelasius ordered a slight change in the lottery. Instead of the names of young women, the box would contain the names of saints. Both men and women were allowed to draw from the box, and the game was to emulate the ways of the saint they drew during the rest of the year. Needless to say, many of the young Roman men were not too pleased with the rule changes.

Instead of the pagan god Lupercus, the Church looked for a suitable patron saint of love to take his place. They found an appropriate choice in Valentine, who, in AD 270 had been beheaded by Emperor Claudius.

Claudius had determined that married men made poor soldiers. So he banned marriage from his empire. But Valentine would secretly marry young men that came to him. When Claudius found out about Valentine, he first tried to convert him to paganism. But Valentine reversed the strategy, trying instead to convert Claudius. When he failed, he was stoned and beheaded.
During the days that Valentine was imprisoned, he fell in love with the blind daughter of his jailer. His love for her, and his great faith, managed to miraculously heal her from her blindness before his death. Before he was taken to his death, he signed a farewell message to her, "From your Valentine." The phrase has been used on his day ever since.

Although the lottery for women had been banned by the church, the mid-February holiday in commemoration of St. Valentine was still used by Roman men to seek the affection of women. It became a tradition for the men to give the ones they admired handwritten messages of affection, containing Valentine's name.

The first Valentine card grew out of this practice. The first true Valentine card was sent in 1415 by Charles, duke of Orleans, to his wife. He was imprisoned in the Tower of London at the time.
Cupid, another symbol of the holiday, became associated with it because he was the son of Venus, the Roman god of love and beauty. Cupid often appears on Valentine cards.

For me and him, everyday is "Valentine's Day" for us ... ; p
So, we don't celebrate it like other couples do ..
He gave me something 2 weeks before today .. he said it has nothing to do with Valentine but it was so touching that i almost cry and smiled the whole day (yeah, like one of those mad girls)
And i don't need to wait for the day to say "i love u" to him ...

Aishiteru baby! :)

Things u don't want to hear during surgery

2005-02-04T17:03:00.000+08:00

1. "Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy."
2. "Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop."
3. "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"
4. "Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!"
5. "Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?"
6. "Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie."
7. "Oh no! I just lost my Rolex."
8. "Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?"
9. "Damn, there go the lights again...."
10. "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of them."
11. "What do you mean you want a divorce?"

the hard, cold reality

2005-02-03T13:20:00.000+08:00

I want to be a doctor cuz....I don't know....I want to help people.

I've wanted to be a doctor for awhile now. Since high school, I've known. It seemed like a good idea.

Life and death ... Ahh, tradition. It roots us in our past and links us with the future. Medicine is not without its share of traditions: the first acceptance into medical school, being sworn into medical study with the Hippocratic Oath, the white-coat ceremony (where you are formally recognized as a student doctor), the first patient, anatomy class, the first death as a doctor in training ...

The unassuming medical student, of course, thinks that death, while inevitable, will be further down the road in his medical education. He'll get a few years of safe, basic medical science instruction before having to learn about the role of death in medicine — not so. Death was our first lesson on our first day.

"So this is my cadaver," I thought to myself. Although this man was not my patient in life, he is now mine in death, and he has selflessly given himself to me. Never before had I received such a precious gift.

"Open your books to Page 4 of the dissector and start removing the superficial fascia from the back," my anatomy professor instructed.

What? No introduction? No. This is the reality of medical school. Even the first day has to move at a rapid pace. While my studies at were like drinking from a water fountain, I now had to learn to keep up with a gushing fire hydrant. Drink fast! Faster! ... And don't forget to breath.
The first days and weeks of school passed on, and I found myself continuing the medical tradition, the rite of passage known as "anatomy class."

Those who were once a group of 100 strangers in the class of 2000 were no more. Anatomy class is perhaps the best team-building exercise. I can still remember the show during my first year as a med student. It took my seniors months to get the performances, videos and comedy skits just right. After all, this was our chance to laugh, celebrate and, last but not least, take revenge against our anatomy professors (lovingly, of course). This system is not without its checks and balances, however. First-year students are quickly reminded by their anatomy professors that their deans and future-attending physicians are in the audience watching ... better make them laugh! And don't forget, it's not unheard of to be on the wards two years later and have your attending physician remember you were the one in the dress impersonating Britney Spears.

Amid all the fun, however, I know I'll feel nostalgic, remembering what it was like to be the new kid on the block. It's an innocence I can no longer claim, for in less than a year,insya-Allah, I'll be on the wards, working with medical teams, caring for patients full time, and putting my five years of study to the test — even my first lesson on the first day.

My cadaver taught me the complexities of the circulatory system and the confusing maze of the brachial plexus, but so many mysteries remain beyond my grasp.

Until i'm now ... a final year medical student ...

The more i learn, the more curiosity and confusion ..

I even think i'm blur-er than before ...

Even a simple case of asthma has successfully makes me think i'm such a failure to be a doctor ...

Am i fit enough to face the real world???

"You treat a disease, you win, you lose. You treat a person I'll guarantee you'll win."

little by little

2005-01-31T20:46:00.000+08:00

It's been almost a month for me to be in Paediatric posting. The feelings of being surrounded by kids *although they're sick* in the ward really calms me in almost every way. They're extra cheerful, active, runs around the ward, cute, and smiles responsively to us eventhough some of them will started to cry everytime he/she sees any person with white coats including medical students. To be honest, i love kids mucho. I even spoil my two lil bro dat makes my mum warn me about the way i treated them since she thinks dat they'll be too dependant on me later. Kids really make my day, u see ..

And there's this 9 year old kiddo who has been diagnosed Beta Thalassemia Major, a disease due to defect in the production of Beta chain that leads to abnormalities in the production of red blood cell. In general, it's a type of anemia that requires a person to have regular blood transfusion for survival. This lil girl was diagnosed having the disease since 6 month of age with both parents and her sister are carriers. Since then, she was required to be admitted for blood transfusion for every month due to her low level of hemoglobin in the blood. There's something about her dat really astonishes me. She's so used with the blood transfusion procedure dat every single needle prick to her body doesn't irritate her. Come on, who loves to be needle-pricked? Even when i was admitted due to pneumonia, i keep reminding the nurse to be extra gentle when inserting needle into my vein. It hurts. But this pale, sick-looking lil girl .. she looked so calm and even smile at me. As medical students, we're taught to show empathy rather than sympathy to any patient but for me, i can't help it but say that i pity her cos she has to go through courses of treatment since she's as young as 6 months old. The fact that the parent can't really afford her costly treatment restricts her from undergoing bone marrow transplant eventhough her older healthy brother is a compatible donor. What us as a caring community could do is by donating money to Thalassemia Raising Fund for those in need including this girl.
People might sometime forget that there's lotsa other people who in need beside the Tsunami victims. It's not the popularity that we can gain by helping them. It's all about human rights ..

Okie peeps, i have end of posting test this coming Friday. Musti membaca .. heh ..

J gave me this for our anniversary .. i dunno whether he has something behind this cute gift ;p

And this is what will happen when guys take care of kiddos .. hehe *kidding*

Let's Learn About Mengumpat

2005-01-28T01:42:00.000+08:00

Semua orang semestinya merasa tidak selesa sekiranya mereka tahu kelemahan, keburukan dan aib mereka diperkatakan oleh orang lain. Lebih-lebih lagi hal itu berkaitan dengan peribadi mereka seperti urusan rumahtangga, cara bekerjaari orang yang mengumpatnya. Jika dia gagal mengawal emosinya, pastilah berlaku perkara-perkara yang tidak diingini. Walaupun orang yang mengumpat itu tahu perbuatannya haram dan berdosa dari segi agama, namun dia tetap meneruskan perbuatan itu keran orang yang suka mengumpat kerana ianya boleh membawa kepada suasana yang tidak harmoni dalam masyarakat seperti benci-membenci, berdendam, berbalah dan berprasangka buruk yang boleh mengakibatkan pergaduhan.
Di dalam Al-Quran terdapat ayat dalam Surimah. Apakah perbezaan di antara kedua-dua perkataan tadi? Al-ghaibah adalah perbuatan mengumpat yang dilakukan secara statik di mana seseorang itu menceritakan keburukan individu lain ketika dia tidak berada di tempat tersebut iaitu mengata di belakehkan dalam Islam. Ia tidak boleh dilakukan sewenang-wenangnya kecuali mengikut situasi dan masa.
Mengikut seorang ulama' iaitu Imam Al-Mawardi, enam keadaan tersebut merupakan alternatif untuk mencegah kemudaratan dan menjamin keselamatan hidup manupemerintahan negara secara diktator dan kuku besi. Oleh yang demikian, rakyat akan menolak pemimpin tersebut melalui amalan demokrasi.
Kedua, apabila kita mengetahui sifat buruk seseorang yang selalu mendatangkan kesusahan dan mudaratu mengumpat seseorang yang berkelakuan buruk agar dia berhenti daripada meneruskan perbuatan keji dan mengubah perangainya seperti tabiat seseorang yang suka bertukar-tukar pasangan dengan tujuan untuk keseronokan. Dengan kata lain, individu terbabitdirinya.
Keempat, kita hendaklah mengumpat seseorang yang suka mengabaikan suruhan agama seperti tidak mengerjakan solat dan tidak menunaikan fardhu haji walaupun sudah berkemampuan melakukannya supaya dia sedar akan tanggungjawabnya ar menerima nasihat orang lain dan menganggap dirinya sahaja yang betul dan berada di pihak yang benar. Dengan kata lain, dia adalah seorang yang 'tidak makan saman' dan mempunyai ego yang tinggi. Cara untuk menyedarkannya ialah dengan mengutuk dan cegah sesuatu perkara yang boleh memudaratkan keselamatan negara dan rakyat.
Keenam, kita boleh memberitahu aib, kecacatan atau kekurangan sifat yang ada pada diri seseorang supaya orang yang berhajat kepadanya dapat mengenalinya. Con dirinya. Jika kita tidak menyatakannya, sukar bagi orang yang bertanya itu menyampaikan hajatnya dan melaksanakan urusannya.
Demikianlah enam keadaan yang digariskan oleh ulama' tentang hukum harus mengumpat terhadap saudara sesama Iidah, nyawa, akal, harta dan maruah kerana lima perkara ini adalah matlamat syariat dilaksanakan dan wahyu diturunkan.

Cik anonymous ... saya faham post saya yang lepas telah banyak mengguris hati saudara.
Oleh itu, sempena Aidiladha, saya ingin menyusun sepuluh jari meminta maaf jikalau perkataan saya banyak menyentuh emosi peribadi saudara ..
Terima kasih kerana masih sudi melawat laman web saya yang acapkali mempunyai unsur kutuk-mengutuk kerana ianya salah satu kelemahan bukan sahaja pada diri saya, malah juga kepada manusia biasa yang lain.
Saya tidak marah atau berkecil hati dengan 'kutukan' membina saudara dalam comment box saya. Malah saya berterima kasih kerana saudara berjaya menyedarkan saya bahawa kutuk-mengutuk itu satu amalan yang hina.
Tapi, tidakkah saudara sedar bahawa saudara juga secara tidak langsung terlibat dalam aktiviti saya mengutuk orang lain kerana saudara telah membaca semua post di laman web saya ini. Dan bagi saya, tidak dapat dinafikan bahawa saudara juga banyak mengutuk orang lain secara tidak sedar. Tidakkah dengan membahasakan orang lain dengan "bitch" atau sebagainya adalah sebahagian dari kutukan?
Saya telah melupakan isu yang lepas, malah tidak sedikit pun terguris rasa hati ini dengan komen 'hangat' saudara. Saya juga tidak pernah mengenali saudara. Oleh kerana itu, saya tiada hak untuk mengadili siapa saudara. Tetapi saya tidak sangka bahawa saudara sekali lagi membangkitkan isu yang lepas. Apa ada pada nama jika saudara seolah2 menyembunyikan identiti saudara. Ini adalah seperti menyembunyikan kebenaran yang saudara sering kali cuba utarakan dalam comment box saya.
Oleh itu, saya merasakan saudara masih lagi tidak puas hati dengan tindak tanduk saya ini ... bagi saya, kawalan emosi adalah sangat penting dalam membentuk peribadi seseorang itu .. saya juga seringkali tidak dapat mengawal emosi, dengan itu, kutuk-mengutuk adalah sebahagian dari kegagalan saya dalam mengawal emosi.
Segala ketidakpuasan hati saudara bolehlah diutarakan melalui email address di bawah .. terima kasih ..

dr_dorsalis@hotmail.com

This Bitter Pill

Walking away.
It's not the same as running.
Is it to you now that you've run this in the ground.
And you say take this.
This medicine is just what you deserve.
Swallow choke and die.
And this bitter pill is leaving you with such an angry mouth. One that's void of all discretion such an awful tearing sound.
With its measure only equaled by the power of my stare glaring over you and over you this feeling of despair is never wearing out.
It's wearing off and it's leaving you with such a heavy heart and a head to match.
The bottle is waiting the cap is twisted begging to be used and so are you.

future dreamer ..

2005-01-25T16:00:00.000+08:00

What would i want to be if i don't jump into medical field ??

1) a landscape engineer - demn, me love this mucho eventho me hates planting flowers and tree. i'm prone to Bali concept. cun sey

2) interior designer - eventho i'm not one rite now, i love changing my room every six months ..truly speaking, i spend more on decorating room than shopping clothes.

3) video jocker - okie, i realized i dont have the criteria at all (too short, too dark and too ugly) but this job requires you to talk only to cameras, not humans. PLUS,
u'll be sponsored from head to toe .. free make-overs, free hairstyling ..besh besh ... ;p

4) robotic engineer - although i hate physics, this job will cost me fortunes! can u imagine working in Sony factory and get those super 'syiok' electronic items for
reasonable prices or for free!

5) toy maker - hehe .. mind you, i will only create toys for boys .. Barbies sucks!

6) pirate - erk, not treasure pirate ok but CD PIRATE .. hehe .. this one is really good .. all you have to do is just make thousand copies of movies and music albums and become a 'gold miner' distributor .. but this job i abit risky since u can straight away go into jail ifu get caught .. so, pepandai la nak idup klu nak jadik lanun cetak rompak

7) photographer - i developed this interest eversince my sister entered photography course. jom klik-klik!!

8) kindergarten teacher - i don't mind taking this job since i love kids mucho. they're just too cute, innocent and naughty, aren't they?

9) desperate housewife - this will be my last choice if i don't get those ever dream job .. how will it feels like to be all day long in the house, doing house chores,taking care of your own kids, watch all those Spanish series on tv,or everyday 'bertandang' to your neighbour's house and gossiping?

i'm a medical student still ... it's not the matter of gaining a popularity by being one or making my future worth of moneys .. it's no fun at all .. it's the matter of helping the sick people .. it's my promise to help the poor regarding their healthcare needs .. i still have a long journey to go .. wish me luck! :)

Picture Perfect

2005-01-24T13:21:00.000+08:00

I hope it's not too late to wish you all SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILADHA .. :)
It's been awhile since all of my family members gathered together for an occasion.
As for last hari raya, my sis was away for her studies.
And as for the last 2 years of hari raya .. i was all the way far in India
This was the latest raya pic where everybody were in .. and it's perfect enuff for me

For Muslims history, this act of Qurban is in remembrance of Prophet Abraham's willingness to sacrifice his elder son, Ishmael, when God commanded him to do it as a test of his commitment to his faith. At the last moment, God miraculously replaced a ram in place of Ishmael.

As for me, this hari raya was even more meaningful when the whole family gathered to celebrate it. Besides, i think it's really time for me to "sacrifice" on something in my life too

Reminders for Elio:
1) Less time to watch anime and read manga, it's your final year you lazy bum! read more medical books
2) Less time for unnecessary chit-chatting .. gossiping is hazardous
3) Less spending money for shopping .. get more birthday presents instead
4) Less time to wander around on bed .. get yourself to sleep .. u look like a zombie
5) Less money spend for expensive meals .. it's time to destroy those ugly fats on your tummy

And THIS ... i need to control it down .. it destroys me bit by bit .. *my bad my bad my bad*

Tudung

2005-01-18T13:05:00.000+08:00

08.01.2005 UTUSAN MALAYSIA.
isu pengharaman pemakaian tudung di IPTA dan IPTS di malaysia.

ahli ahli parlimen negara sudah mendapat kata sepakat bagi mengharamkan pemakaian tudung bagi pelajar wanita di ipta dan ipts di malaysia ini berikutan dengan faktor faktor kesihatan.

ini kerana pelajar pelajar wanita yang memakai tudung ini didapati kurang mendapat prestasi yang agak cemerlang.
kenyataan ini juga disahkan oleh pakar-pakar di hospital selayang yang membuat kajian terperinci tentangpemakaian tudung ini.
mereka berkata tudung ini akan menyebabkan pengedaran udara yg kurang dan menyebabkan kepala yg melindungi otak akan menjadi kurang segar dan akan menjadikan otak mereka tidak aktif seperti pelajar-pelajar yg tidak memakai tudung.

jadi bagaimana isu ini boleh berlaku topik ini sengaja ditulis dan hanya disiarkan kecil sahaja di bahagian muka surat yg sekiranya tidak deteliti tidak akan nampak.
adakah kerajaan malaysia takut akan hal ini.yang dulu begitu marah terhadap singapura yg memberhentikan 2 org murid perempuan kerana memakai tudung ke sekolah.

ape susah jadi dengan isu ini diam begitu sahaja kan.sekarang ape sudah jadi paku dulang paku serpih mengata orang dia yang lebih.sekarang malaysia sanggup mengHARAMKAN pemakaian tudung pihak JAKIM juga tidak dapat berbuat apa apa dengan isu ini.ini kerana semuanya terletak ditangan menteri menteri di malaysia.
bagaimana pula dengan Pak Lah yg selalu menjadi imam di masjid masjid adakah die juga bersetuju dengan isu pengharaman pemakaian tudung ini.jadi bagaimana seorang imam boleh setuju tentang pengharaman pemakaian tudung ini.

Bagi pihak universiti islam antarabangsa malaysia(UIAM).international islamic university malaysia (IIUM) juga hanya menunggu dan lihat sahaja apa yang akan terjadi.universiti ini dahulu yg mewajibkan setiap pelajar wanitanya memakai tudung apabila memasuki kawasan universiti kini hanya mengambil endah tak endah sahaja mengapa MALAYSIA sekarang ini.
MALAYSIA yang dulunya dikenali kerana agama rasminya adalah agama islam.kini boleh mengharamkan pemakaian tudung di malaysia yang kita semua sudah maklum sebagai seorang wanita islam wajib memakai tudung.isu ini sengaja tidak digembar gemburkan agar tidak mahu berlaku kekecohan ataupun ape ape reformasi.

pihak media massa seperti TV juga tidak mahu mengambil inisiatif bagi membetulkan semua ini.adakah malaysia sudah lemah....
pihak menteri juga sudah mengeluarkan notis bagi pengharaman pemakaian tudung ini disemua IPTA dan IPTS dan juga akan menghantar notis ini ke sekolah sekolah.

pihak menteri juga telah menyenaraikan beberapa jenis tudung yang haram dipakai sewaktu berada di dalam sekolah ataupun kawasan kampus antara jenis tudung yang tidak boleh dipakai ialah:-

1)TUDUNG SAJI
2)TUDUNG PERIUK
3)TUDUNG TERMOS
4)TUDUNG CAT

dan bagi jenis TUDUNG BOTOL yang selalu menjadi permainan murid sekolah masih di dalam pemerhatian.

CESS, KURENG BETUL LA ARTICLE NIH .. HUHU .. ;P

Salvation Army

2005-01-17T22:22:00.000+08:00

p/s:no unnecessary comments please ..this is my blog .. if u dont like this idiotic medical student .. please leave ..people makes mistakes .. when someone gets angry, he will just blow his minds off without thinking what will be the future outcome.o-oh, i never deny for being ugly,black too, in fact, i thank you God for his creation. so, wut's the problem when a black talking bout other black? and yeah, judging someone by just reading her blog is like beating stranger's ass .. u peeps better get ur own life too .. terima kasih

anonymous

2005-01-14T13:18:00.000+08:00

this are the feedbacks i received from my last entries ... (copyright from Haloscan)

hey bitch how ru still survivng in the last year of medic while resitting for a paper do yu call ur self a sucked up bitch ur better just go strolling and get fucked by ur bf
Anonymous 01.14.05 - 10:11 am #

u have a srious mental prob bitch
bitch 01.14.05 - 10:08 am #

To anonymous, this is what my life is all about .. whether i'm surviving or not, i'll never interrupt other people's life especially someone like you .. and yeah, i'm happy to see u show ur jealousy for the great life God have given me.
My advice ---> go see a psychiatrist. u need therapy for ur mental disturbances .. thank you

And to bitch .. yes, i do have a serious mental prob ... BUT only when i deal with a totally-fucked-up-mental-SOB like you .. doumo arigato

to cik wan

2005-01-13T15:59:00.000+08:00

happy birthday gurl ...
may Allah bless you always ...
i'm too sengkek to buy u prezzie ...
so, here's for ya ..
enjoy !!! ;p